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1. What other records will the Blackhawks set this season?
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Marc Silverman: The number of fans jumping on a team's bandwagon. And that's totally cool. |
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Pete McMurray: Single-season record for beer sales. Yeah buddy! |
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Ernest Wilkins: Fastest bandwagon construction, for sure! |
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Elliott Serrano: Most newborn children named for an NHL team. |
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Sarah Spain: Most 10-year-old girls proposing marriage to 20-something men via poster. |
2. If Adidas is giving a contract to the fastest player at the NFL combine ...
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Marc Silverman: Isn't that like Weight Watchers signing a skinny guy? I think that player has shoes that work. |
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Pete McMurray: ... match.com is giving away dates to anyone who got dumped by a fake girlfriend. |
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Ernest Wilkins: ... then why can't I get one for "most attractive man who can eat 4 cheeseburgers at once"? |
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Elliott Serrano: ... they must be in some sort of hurry to replace ... someone. |
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Sarah Spain: ... then Leon Sandcastle is about to be a very rich man! |
3. After D-Rose's brother, who'll be next to comment on the Bulls star's return?
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Marc Silverman: Waddle and I. Today on ESPN 1000. Make it a point to be there! |
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Pete McMurray: Baby Jesus. "Please Baby Jesus bring D-Rose back to us! Pa-leeeze?!" |
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Ernest Wilkins: Me. Here it is: "Derrick Rose comes back this week." |
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Elliott Serrano: I'm waiting on comment from Adidas for that answer. |
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Sarah Spain: For everyone's sake, let's hope it's Derrick himself. |
4. Spring training games started this weekend. How does that make you feel?
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Marc Silverman: Like listening to an Oscar winner's speech. A bunch of names I've never heard of and it lasts too long. |
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Pete McMurray: That it's just around the corner when we'll be seeing the Cubs in last place. |
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Ernest Wilkins: Amazing. Now can I get my tax return back now so I can afford to go to a game? |
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Elliott Serrano: Like the groundhog lied to me! Where is the early spring we were promised? |
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Sarah Spain: Cold. Get me to Mesa, stat! |
5. Who should be No. 1 in college basketball?
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Marc Silverman: The coach with the silver linings playbook. |
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Pete McMurray: Duke. Because all the women will pick them to win in their NCAA pools! |
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Ernest Wilkins: Why does it matter when the tournament doesn't factor in Top 25 ranking in the slightest? |
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Elliott Serrano: The Hoosiers. Come on, they don't have anything else in Indiana. |
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Sarah Spain: The UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs. Just the mascot, not the team. |