1. When will Derrick Rose be ready to dunk again?
|Tracy Swartz: In the distal future.|
|Julie DiCaro: When Adidas says he's ready.|
|Soxman: When Dunkin' Donuts sends him a dozen. They must be jam filled.|
|Brad Zibung: I heard he's already dunking on a 12-foot rim but I also heard he's still using a walker. I have no clue.|
|Megan Crepeau: When the seventh son of the seventh son rises in the east. At least I think that's what Nostradamus meant.|
2. The White Sox giving each other haircuts in spring training is like ...
|Tracy Swartz: ... maybe the highlight of the season.|
|Julie DiCaro: I don't even know. Why are guys so careless with their hair?|
|Soxman: ... great practice for getting out of hairy situations as a team in big games.|
|Brad Zibung: ... one way for them to save some money until fans start showing up again.|
|Megan Crepeau: ... disaster. A camp full of baseball bros probably shouldn't be given any sharp objects.|
3. How should Matt Garza treat his mild lat strain?
|Tracy Swartz: Pull a Cubs and take a year off.|
|Julie DiCaro: By chastising fans on Twitter for speculating about his injury. Again.|
|Soxman: He just needs to relax and LAT the Cubs defense have his BACK.|
|Brad Zibung: He should probably just up and retire already.|
|Megan Crepeau: My mom always said anything can be cured if you just drink enough water.|
4. What's behind Illinois' four-game winning streak?
|Tracy Swartz: Fourplay: Northwestern, Purdue, Minnesota and Indiana.|
|Julie DiCaro: A pact with the devil. Obviously.|
|Soxman: Coaching strategy: take ugly shots and Groce the other team out.|
|Brad Zibung: Four games they didn't lose. It's a miracle!|
|Megan Crepeau: They're fueled by the Midwest's own magic (aka casseroles).|
5. Who is Mikaela Shiffrin?
|Tracy Swartz: A young ski champion. Slalom, to the big leagues.|
|Julie DiCaro: The nicer, less broken, less Tiger Woods-y Lindsey Vonn.|
|Soxman: As my Hebrew friends say: Slalom. As LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem says: everyday she's Shiffrin.|
|Brad Zibung: I'm guessing she's some hot athlete who's going to appear in the 2015 Swimsuit Issue in nothing but body paint.|
|Megan Crepeau: A quick Google reveals that she's sponsored by Barilla pasta, which makes her a girl after my own heart.|