1. When will Derrick Rose be ready to dunk again?
Tracy Swartz: In the distal future.
Julie DiCaro: When Adidas says he's ready.
Soxman: When Dunkin' Donuts sends him a dozen. They must be jam filled.
Brad Zibung: I heard he's already dunking on a 12-foot rim but I also heard he's still using a walker. I have no clue.
Megan Crepeau: When the seventh son of the seventh son rises in the east. At least I think that's what Nostradamus meant.
2. The White Sox giving each other haircuts in spring training is like ...
Tracy Swartz: ... maybe the highlight of the season.
Julie DiCaro: I don't even know. Why are guys so careless with their hair?
Soxman: ... great practice for getting out of hairy situations as a team in big games.
Brad Zibung: ... one way for them to save some money until fans start showing up again.
Megan Crepeau: ... disaster. A camp full of baseball bros probably shouldn't be given any sharp objects.
3. How should Matt Garza treat his mild lat strain?
Tracy Swartz: Pull a Cubs and take a year off.
Julie DiCaro: By chastising fans on Twitter for speculating about his injury. Again.
Soxman: He just needs to relax and LAT the Cubs defense have his BACK.
Brad Zibung: He should probably just up and retire already.
Megan Crepeau: My mom always said anything can be cured if you just drink enough water.
4. What's behind Illinois' four-game winning streak?
Tracy Swartz: Fourplay: Northwestern, Purdue, Minnesota and Indiana.
Julie DiCaro: A pact with the devil. Obviously.
Soxman: Coaching strategy: take ugly shots and Groce the other team out.
Brad Zibung: Four games they didn't lose. It's a miracle!
Megan Crepeau: They're fueled by the Midwest's own magic (aka casseroles).
5. Who is Mikaela Shiffrin?
Tracy Swartz: A young ski champion. Slalom, to the big leagues.
Julie DiCaro: The nicer, less broken, less Tiger Woods-y Lindsey Vonn.
Soxman: As my Hebrew friends say: Slalom. As LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem says: everyday she's Shiffrin.
Brad Zibung: I'm guessing she's some hot athlete who's going to appear in the 2015 Swimsuit Issue in nothing but body paint.
Megan Crepeau: A quick Google reveals that she's sponsored by Barilla pasta, which makes her a girl after my own heart.