1. When will the Blackhawks lose again?
|Brian Moore: I've extrapolated data based on the games so far, and I come up with "dinosaur." Can't be right.|
|Kate Bernot: Probably as soon as I get tickets.|
|Jane Monzures: When the Cup runneth over ...|
|Kat Velez: When Brent Seabrook cuts his hair. Have you seen the mop on his head? Bieber-esque.|
|Ben Johnson: According to the rules of hockey, the Blackhawks lose whenever the other team scores more goals.|
2. Who will be the Hawks' MVP this year?
|Brian Moore: Corey Crawford. Yeah, I said it.|
|Kate Bernot: Fans, for settling for approximately 58 percent of a season.|
|Jane Monzures: The Zamboni driver, for all his work during the off season.|
|Kat Velez: Brandon Bollig, if he goes back to Rockford and frees up a spot for someone who can actually play.|
|Ben Johnson: The Hawks got Most Valuable Primate? Hello, Stanley Cup! Man, that monkey can skate!|
3. What will be the big story to come out of SoxFest?
|Brian Moore: Jerry Reinsdorf unveils his own $300M, 5-year plan to renovate Wrigley. The man's ambitious.|
|Kate Bernot: Soxman is a fantastic public speaker. Who knew?|
|Jane Monzures: They've hired Lovie Smith.|
|Kat Velez: More people will be in attendance at SoxFest than at Sox games.|
|Ben Johnson: They're giving Chris Sale pre-emptive Tommy John surgery. Just to get it over with.|
4. The Australian Open is to tennis as ...
|Brian Moore: ... that one NFL game in London is to football: A great way to learn geography.|
|Kate Bernot: ... Fosters is to beer.|
|Jane Monzures: ... church is to sleep.|
|Kat Velez: ... watching European hockey is to hockey -- up at weird hours, no one else cares besides yourself.|
|Ben Johnson: ... January is to months of the year.|
5. Give us a tip for watching the Winter X Games.
|Brian Moore: Sorry, it has nothing to do with porn. I learned the hard way.|
|Kate Bernot: Break out your Cheetos, Sublime CDs and Tony Hawk Pro Skater, then party like it's 1999.|
|Jane Monzures: It's a good time to take a nap!|
|Kat Velez: I would, if I even knew they were still airing the Winter X Games on TV.|
|Ben Johnson: There are other channels on TV. There's even such a thing as a book.|