1. When will the Blackhawks lose again?
Brian Moore: I've extrapolated data based on the games so far, and I come up with "dinosaur." Can't be right.
Kate Bernot: Probably as soon as I get tickets.
Jane Monzures: When the Cup runneth over ...
Kat Velez: When Brent Seabrook cuts his hair. Have you seen the mop on his head? Bieber-esque.
Ben Johnson: According to the rules of hockey, the Blackhawks lose whenever the other team scores more goals.
2. Who will be the Hawks' MVP this year?
Brian Moore: Corey Crawford. Yeah, I said it.
Kate Bernot: Fans, for settling for approximately 58 percent of a season.
Jane Monzures: The Zamboni driver, for all his work during the off season.
Kat Velez: Brandon Bollig, if he goes back to Rockford and frees up a spot for someone who can actually play.
Ben Johnson: The Hawks got Most Valuable Primate? Hello, Stanley Cup! Man, that monkey can skate!
3. What will be the big story to come out of SoxFest?
Brian Moore: Jerry Reinsdorf unveils his own $300M, 5-year plan to renovate Wrigley. The man's ambitious.
Kate Bernot: Soxman is a fantastic public speaker. Who knew?
Jane Monzures: They've hired Lovie Smith.
Kat Velez: More people will be in attendance at SoxFest than at Sox games.
Ben Johnson: They're giving Chris Sale pre-emptive Tommy John surgery. Just to get it over with.
4. The Australian Open is to tennis as ...
Brian Moore: ... that one NFL game in London is to football: A great way to learn geography.
Kate Bernot: ... Fosters is to beer.
Jane Monzures: ... church is to sleep.
Kat Velez: ... watching European hockey is to hockey -- up at weird hours, no one else cares besides yourself.
Ben Johnson: ... January is to months of the year.
5. Give us a tip for watching the Winter X Games.
Brian Moore: Sorry, it has nothing to do with porn. I learned the hard way.
Kate Bernot: Break out your Cheetos, Sublime CDs and Tony Hawk Pro Skater, then party like it's 1999.
Jane Monzures: It's a good time to take a nap!
Kat Velez: I would, if I even knew they were still airing the Winter X Games on TV.
Ben Johnson: There are other channels on TV. There's even such a thing as a book.