1. How many head coaching candidates will be enough for the Bears?
|Clark Jones: They should keep interviewing until Lovie walks in with a fake mustache.|
|Erin McElroy: Two. Ditka and his bad heart.|
|Scott Bolohan: For head coaching? 69.|
|John Dooley: As many as it takes to finally get an interview for Koach Ditker.|
|Angi Taylor: It can be 1,000 as long as they hire someone who knows how to run an offense.|
2. The Hawks should concentrate on ____ before the season begins.
|Clark Jones: Making sure their keys still work.|
|Erin McElroy: Paying their cab fares.|
|Scott Bolohan: Adderall.|
|John Dooley: Making sure Q's stache is receiving plenty of water.|
|Angi Taylor: Reminding people what this whole "hockey" thing is.|
3. Who said: "If they say we're playing at midnight on the roof, you should be saying let's get the ladders"?
|Clark Jones: The Old Navy preacher! He also told me Stick Figure is going to hell for his lifestyle.|
|Erin McElroy: Brent Musburger, after finding out the former Miss Alabama was on the roof.|
|Scott Bolohan: John Lennon.|
|John Dooley: The fiddler to the rest of his bandmates.|
|Angi Taylor: Either Santa or cat burglars.|
4. Why have the Bulls been so much better on the road than at home this season?
|Clark Jones: They only feel comfortable with shooting outside of Chicago.|
|Erin McElroy: Less distraction than at home.|
|Scott Bolohan: Free HBO gets them psyched up.|
|John Dooley: Benny the Bull's T-shirt shooter just isn't firing up the crowd the way it used to.|
|Angi Taylor: They think that when they see D-Rose rehabbing at the UC that he's playing that night.|
5. How can you tell the Australian Open is underway?
|Clark Jones: Somebody on 63rd Street just told me "g'day mate ... I mean fam."|
|Erin McElroy: Roger Federer's making room in his trophy case.|
|Scott Bolohan: Vegemite sandwiches have seen an uptick in sales.|
|John Dooley: I can hear the women's players grunting from three channels away.|
|Angi Taylor: Whuddya say, mate?|