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redeyechicago.com

Five on Five: Ditka days

Some of these panelists want Da Coach back. THEY MUST LIKE GETTING YELLED AT.

By Chris Sosa, @redeyesportschi

6:50 PM CDT, July 19, 2012

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1. How many head coaching candidates will be enough for the Bears?
Clark Jones: They should keep interviewing until Lovie walks in with a fake mustache.
Erin McElroy: Two. Ditka and his bad heart.
Scott Bolohan: For head coaching? 69.
John Dooley: As many as it takes to finally get an interview for Koach Ditker.
Angi Taylor: It can be 1,000 as long as they hire someone who knows how to run an offense.
2. The Hawks should concentrate on ____ before the season begins.
Clark Jones: Making sure their keys still work.
Erin McElroy: Paying their cab fares.
Scott Bolohan: Adderall.
John Dooley: Making sure Q's stache is receiving plenty of water.
Angi Taylor: Reminding people what this whole "hockey" thing is.
3. Who said: "If they say we're playing at midnight on the roof, you should be saying let's get the ladders"?
Clark Jones: The Old Navy preacher! He also told me Stick Figure is going to hell for his lifestyle.
Erin McElroy: Brent Musburger, after finding out the former Miss Alabama was on the roof.
Scott Bolohan: John Lennon.
John Dooley: The fiddler to the rest of his bandmates.
Angi Taylor: Either Santa or cat burglars.
4. Why have the Bulls been so much better on the road than at home this season?
Clark Jones: They only feel comfortable with shooting outside of Chicago.
Erin McElroy: Less distraction than at home.
Scott Bolohan: Free HBO gets them psyched up.
John Dooley: Benny the Bull's T-shirt shooter just isn't firing up the crowd the way it used to.
Angi Taylor: They think that when they see D-Rose rehabbing at the UC that he's playing that night.
5. How can you tell the Australian Open is underway?
Clark Jones: Somebody on 63rd Street just told me "g'day mate ... I mean fam."
Erin McElroy: Roger Federer's making room in his trophy case.
Scott Bolohan: Vegemite sandwiches have seen an uptick in sales.
John Dooley: I can hear the women's players grunting from three channels away.
Angi Taylor: Whuddya say, mate?