11:52 AM CDT, May 16, 2012
Dear Mr. and Mrs. NATO protesters,
If you want to decry something that you think offends humanity, skip McCormick Place this weekend and head to Wrigley Field.
If you’re looking to bring attention to senseless policies, then the Cubs-White Sox interleague series is right there for you.
Interleague play is not cute anymore. It’s not a novelty. It only heightens the stupidity of one league having the designated hitter and the other having Chris Volstad. We don’t need interleague play anymore, and next year, of course, we’ll get it everyday.
Every stinkin’ day. Different rules for different rosters every stinkin’ day.
I’ll tell you what, Mr. and Mrs. NATO Protesters, you ought to organize an Occupy Bud Selig movement.
You know what else? We certainly don’t need interleague play between two bad teams. Maybe it’s the buzz-kill from the Cubs and Sox choking big, early leads against division rivals in stereo Tuesday, but how can anyone take seriously a meeting of sub-.500 teams? How can you care?
Bad thing is, it’s not a fluke that both teams are under .500. The Cubs were built to be bad, starting with rookie manager Dale Sveum, who still makes no sense with asking Starlin Castro to bunt the other night. At one point, Sveum said managers “don’t want to ask certain people (to bunt) if they’re not capable of doing certain things.’’ Um, Dale, Starlin Castro hadn’t sacrificed since 2010. Hel-LO.
And another thing: If you’re going to have your No. 3 hitter bunt on the road, you need a new No. 3 hitter. Or a new team.
The Sox, meanwhile, have pulled off the nifty trick of getting good starts from the Three Horsemen of the financial apocalypse --- Adam Dunn, Jake Peavy and Alex Rios --- and still post a lousy record.
But listen, Mr. and Mrs. NATO Protesters, this is why you should feel comfortable with things at Wrigley. I mean, nothing represents a non-violent act like a Sox hitter with runners in scoring position and two outs.
But the Sox aren’t the only local baseball graduates of the JP Morgan Chase trading class. Rally against economic failure all you want, Mr. and Mrs. NATO Protesters, but the bigger financial disaster is still playing left field for the Cubs.
How much more convincing do you need? The world’s problems are nothing compared to the baseball damage being foisted on Chicagoans. March against war all you want, Mr. and Mrs. NATO protesters, but if you want to talk about the use of unnecessary arms, try the Cubs bullpen.
The Cubs’ best reliever is Shawn Camp. Their worst reliever is everybody else.
But at least the Cubs have a best reliever. The Sox have Matt Thornton doing his best Will Ohman impression. After that, they have a bunch of young arms with which Robin Ventura is not so much managing as playing Whack-A-Mole.
The Cubs got lucky that Carlos Marmol had to go on the disabled list. I believe he was diagnosed with a strained career. I don’t know about this Lendy Castillo guy, but I don’t want to see him again until the Cubs run out of position players. If James Russell and Rafael Dolis are the answers, the question must be “Who makes you pine for LaTroy Hawkins?’’
But that’s nothing compared to the Tom Ricketts fantasy league selection. Listen, Mr. and Mrs. NATO Protesters, if you think Greece had a bad year, then get a load of Kerry Wood.
That’s my pitch, but I don’t think I’ve convinced you, Mr. and Mrs. NATO Protesters, to change your demonstration sites. I don’t believe I’ve moved you to reconsider issues I view as more important.
In that case, we’re all having a Kerry Wood year, so thank goodness he at least gave us a slogan for Cubs-Sox:
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