9:58 AM CDT, August 14, 2011
The Braves knocked Carlos Zambrano’s jock off. So, Zambrano did the only thing a professional could do:
He took his jock and went home.
Took everything out of his locker, actually, and went somewhere. AWOL. Crying for mommy. Whatever, at least Zambrano finally found a way make the Cubs better.
Without waiting for Zambrano to make good on his threat to retire after Friday night’s horrific outing that nearly included a bench emptying, the Cubs placed Zambrano on the disqualified list Saturday.
Cubs general manager Jim Hendry called Zambrano’s actions “intolerable.’’ Sort of like the $91.5 million no-trade contract Hendry gave him.
Whatever, the DQ list means no pay for 30 days. Zambrano also can’t be with the team during that time.
Thing is, Zambrano never was with the team. He was his own team.
Zambrano seemed to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted however he wanted. Punching a teammate. Calling out others. Showing up managers. Refusing to follow trainers’ orders to prevent cramping. Admitting he didn’t maintain his conditioning.
He wasn’t a teammate. He was more like a fungus. He goes away for a while, but always comes back.
Now, though, he can’t come back after quitting on his team. He can’t come back this year or ever. But the players association is expected to file a grievance.
So, in fact, Zambrano could come back, just like a fungus,
Unless the Fanboy Owner agrees to release Zambrano and pays him not to play for the Cubs. At least the Fanboy Owner would finally find a way make the Cubs better.
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