Put down the whine list, Brandon

Brandon Marshall was trying to complain about the Lions’ hellacious pass rush, but all he really did was come off as whiny while indicting his own team’s useless front four. 

After the Bears still lost another game to the Lions, no matter how much the Lions’ idiocy put the Bears in position to win and take over sole possession of first place in the NFC North, Marshall said he has a “nasty taste in my mouth with these guys. These guys are difficult to deal with.’’

Well, yeah. Duh. The Lions have beaten you twice. They’ve owned you this season. They’ve been stupid, they’ve given you chances to win, but you haven’t. You can’t. Cue the gag reflex.

As guest host of “The Jay Cutler Show’’ on WMVP-AM 1000 on Monday, Marshall also called the Lions’ play “borderline illegal.’’ Look, it’s either illegal or not. Pick a lane, fella.

I love what Marshall does for the Bears and I love his passion for his teammates and the game, but one thing worse than whininess is wishy-washy whininess.

“And I’ll say this, man,’’ Marshall went on. “I’ll attach my name to it. When I’m looking at film (Monday), it was kind of disgusting to see their D-line go out of their way to knock our quarterbacks down after every single play. You know?’’

Yes, I know. You’re mad because as a Bear, you’re not used to seeing a defensive line regularly hit a quarterback.

It’s something the Bears’ defensive lineman can’t even think of doing because on the rare occasion they shed a block, they still have to check Mapquest to find an opponent’s pocket.

“The ball was gone,’’ Marshall went on. “They’re pushing him down. They’re hitting him below the knee. It was kind of disgusting.’’

Yeah, the Lions are the dirtiest and dumbest team in the league, but they get to the target often enough to pull stupid stunts. The Lions’ defensive line pantsed the Bears’ lame defensive line by comparison twice this season. The Lions also pantsed the Bears offensive linemen twice this season by blowing past them to threaten the quarterbacks’ body parts.

 “So, it seemed like it was game-planned,’’ Marshall said. “But it was borderline. You can’t say it was illegal. But it was definitely one of those things where you say, ‘Hey, we’ve got to pay attention to this.’’’

Yes, Capt. Obvious, it was game-planned. Of course it was game-planned. Palm-to-forehead.

Pay attention to this: Smart teams seize on a weakness and try to exploit it, and even dumb teams such as the Lions do that. The Bears should try getting to the quarterback.

Here’s the deal: If you don’t want your quarterback to be so easily abused, have your offensive line block someone.

Marshall had some other silly things to say, such as comparing the Lions to annoying little brothers and telling the Lions to stay in Detroit and fix the city’s financial problems. As expected, the Lions fired back.

Offensive lineman Rob Sims told Marshall the Lions aren’t running from anybody. Sims is 6-foot-3 and 312 pounds. That’s some little brother.

Dominic Raiola made the point that the Lions have nothing to do with the city’s economic crisis, but if the Lions center wanted to fire back a similar cheap shot, he could tell Marshall to enjoy looking up at the Lions from the city that is the reigning murder capital of the nation.

Oh, and something else, Brandon, and I’ll attach my name to it: Beat the Lions so your whining about tactics doesn’t sound like your next step is to hold your breath until you turn blue.

CHICAGO

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