Here's what the Marlins won't be getting with Mike Redmond as their next manager.
An outsized personality suitable for cable TV reality shows.
- STORY: Thing 1: Will Mike Redmond ever get to manage Josh Johnson?
- STORY: Thing 2: A classic story about Mike Redmond and Jorge Fabregas
- STORY: Thing 3: Who should Marlins hire as Redmond's bench coach?
- Photos: New Miami Marlins manager Mike Redmond
- Photos: Marlins manager history
- Photos: See the many faces of Ozzie Guillen
The experience of having managed a World Series winner somewhere else.
Instant relevance with even casual baseball fans in a crowded South Florida sports market.
Then again, when the Marlins introduce their 41-year-old former backup catcher as Ozzie Guillen's low-wattage successor Friday afternoon, they won't be getting any of the following either:
Profanity-laced monologues with the cameras rolling and the team logo in the background.
Extensive breakdowns of the geopolitical merits of foreign dictators.
An ego so massive it bumps against the roof at Marlins Park.
Blunt suggestions the front office take a flying leap when it dares to enter the manager's office after a tough loss or mentions potential lineup changes before the game.
Daily reminders of the manager's fat bank account and complete willingness to spend his golden years in Spain, counting his money and attending bullfights.
Confession: I will miss some, if not all, of the above now that Ozzie has been dumped and replaced with basically the Anti-Ozzie.
Ozzie was fun. And great for those in my profession.
There's no denying that.
Still, what if the Marlins got this hire right the way they have so many others?
These, remember, are the same bosses who gave Joe Girardi and Fredi Gonzalez their first chances to run a major league team. Both men have gone on to do quite well in the Bronx and Atlanta, respectively, since getting fired here.
Speaking of Fredi, the Marlins' last winning manager came up in a discussion I had Thursday with a long-time scout who watched Redmond manage the Class A Dunedin Blue Jays for about 10 games this year in the Florida State League.
"He reminded me of Fredi Gonzalez," the scout said. "I don't know if [Jeffrey] Loria will like that, but that's what I saw."
"Just the way he ran the games," the scout said. "Controlled, balanced, very even-keeled. You could tell he was very knowledgeable and had his team very prepared for every situation. Just a very professional approach."
Having covered Redmond for the first seven years of an unlikely big league career that eventually spanned 13, I can attest to the man's work ethic, intelligence, good humor and general decency.
Is he ready to be the youngest manager in the majors after taking a pair of Class A teams to the playoffs, including the Lansing Lugnuts in 2011? I have no idea, but I kind of like Redmond's odds.
Underestimate him at your own peril.
You've probably heard the stories of how he used to own Braves left-hander Tom Glavine, slapping those changeups to right field so many times that area came to be known as the Red Zone.
Well, it wasn't just Glavine, against whom Redmond owned a career .438 batting average (21 for 48).
Redmond hit .432 against Mark Buehrle in 37 career at-bats. His OPS against Al Leiter was an Albert Pujolsian 1.052, and Redmond hit a cool .500 against C.C. Sabathia (13 for 26).
Those were the four pitchers Redmond faced most often, hitting a combined .450 in 140 at-bats.
Besides the no-hitters, Cy Young awards and other credentials for this Fab Four, they also made nearly $560 million in career earnings (and counting).
Redmond? He checked out two years ago with less than $9 million in career baseball pay, including just one year (2003) with a seven-figure salary.
"That just goes to show you, some things you can't teach," the scout said. "Some guys in this game, they just find a way to beat the other guy. They're always finding a way. That's Redmond."
He's also soaked up knowledge along the way from Jim Leyland, John Boles, Tony Perez, Jeff Torborg, Jack McKeon and Ron Gardenhire.
Redmond played for — and quickly won over — all of them.
Frustrated Marlins fans could be next.