Theo Epstein didn’t say no to the Cubs’ job.
Vic. To. Ry.
No “no’’ from Theo. Sounds like a Dr. Seuss title, but it’s the latest story based on Epstein’s comments about the Cubs’ general manager job. At one point, Epstein said, “I’m all Red Sox, all the time.’’ He also said, “Anyone associated with the Red Sox would be happy to work here and I am.’’
None of that explicitly dismisses the Cubs the way you’d expect someone with a brain to dismiss a Fanboy Owner employing Team Impediment Clown Kenney.
Hey, Todd, Laura, Pete, he didn’t say no. Goody, goody, gumdrop. Let’s celebrate with another bison dog.
Hopeful Cubs fans can interpret Epstein’s response as a sign that someone smarter than everybody in the Fanboy Owner’s bunch might be interested.
I’m interpreting it as a sign that a lot of smart people will use the Fanboy Owner to get raises and contract extensions in their present jobs.
Epstein, for instance, is signed through next season. I’m sure he’d like to stay in a great city with a classic ballpark and a World Series-caliber team that, by the way, has already won two World Series under him. I’m sure his employers would want to continue this terrific run. I’m sure Epstein will have a talk with his bosses and shake hands on a deal for, I don’t know, three more years. Thanks, Tom. Call again.
Epstein is smart enough that he and other GM targets such as Brian Cashman and Andrew Friedman might even use the Fanboy Owner to get a better title. That’s really where the Fanboy Owner is going wrong here. He wants to hire a GM, just a GM, nothing higher on the flow chart.
Problem is, a sitting GM worth hiring has the leverage, not the Fanboy Owner. The Cubs will have to overpay and over-title someone such as Epstein.
The Fanboy Owner should’ve figured this out already. He and the kids used dad’s money to overypay for the franchise and the ballpark because the Cubs are one of the few teams carrying a premium requiring overpayment. The Cubs, Red Sox, Yankees, Dodgers -- premium. The Rays, Royals, Astros, White Sox -- not.
Look, from the start, nobody with a CFO’s training wheels thought this was a good deal for the bottom line. This was just an expensive brag, and everybody knows it, including prospective GMs who will come in wanting uber-power and have the juice to demand it and get it.
The best candidates want the best possible position, and there’s nothing good about Kenney holding a title that even sniffs of authority. So, the most desirable candidates will want to be at the top of the food chain, and they’ll get it here or stay where they are because they’re smarter than a Fanboy Owner who told fans that injuries were the only thing wrong with this year’s team that was holding baseball’s second-worst record at the time.
I suppose that’s what Fanboy Owners are for. Just like getting more money and security for the best people to stay where they are. But hey, at least the Cubs will be getting turned down by a successful class of people. Bison dogs all around.