Dear Anna,
OK, so I have a friend who fell in love with her A/C repairman. She slept with him a few times, but then he moved away and is maybe married. He blocked her calls for a bit and then unblocked them, and basically she’s endlessly pining for him. How can I get her to move on? —Not Sweatin’ But Sweatin’
Dear Not Sweatin’,
Alas, this falls squarely into the “you can’t change other people” camp of quasi-personal dilemmas.
But! There are a few things that may help speed up your friend’s moving-on process. These require varying degrees of effort on your part, so proceed at your own will and willingness to waste your time.
Find evidence that Mr. Too Cool is actually married. You could do this through social media endeavors, Internet sleuthing or one of those creepy “find his information!” websites that are possibly illegal. If that’s too labor-intensive or unethical or your friend doesn’t know his full name, you nevertheless can try to convince her that he is married through inference and the power of suggestion. The fact that he blocked her calls, for instance, could mean he did not want anyone to know she was calling him, which could point to signs of an affair. Or he might have blocked her because she’s super annoying. It’s hard to say from here. Either way, lean heavily on the former reason, regardless of whether it’s true.
For some desperate piners of the world, the fact that their crushes are married is not a deterrent to pursuing them. So be sure to explore other avenues that might A) take your friend’s mind off of him or B) make him come off as an even less attractive, non-monied version of Donald Trump. If you have an attractive male friend who is a plumber or roofer, then for God’s sake, hook a girl up! If you don’t, then frankly I’m not sure what merits you bring to this friendship.
In seriousness, there’s nothing you can do except be a good friend, listen to her craziness with compassion and then break her air conditioner and hope the next guy who comes to fix it is single and not leaving the city anytime soon.
On a completely unrelated-to-your-problem-yet-important tangent, did you know there are a LOT of air conditioner humor websites? An example: “Why are computers like air conditioners? They quit working properly when you open Windows.” And this one even rhymes! “She calls me when she’s hot/She calls me for no cause/She called me until I told her/The problem was menopause.”
Silly women with their lady problems bothering hardworking HVAC (heating, ventilation, air conditioning) men of the world! Take a chill pill. That one’s on the house, gentlemen.
Anna Pulley is a RedEye contributor. Want to ask Anna an anonymous question about love, sex or dating? Email your quandry to redeyedating@gmail.com.
