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Sometimes the media forces itself to “cover” things that “went viral.” Like … the *news* of the day … is that something … is popular … on the Internet. Most of the time these things are embarrassingly dumb and make us want to assume the fetal position and grieve for humanity, but there were a few diamonds among the turds that had lasting effect. Including…
The Kid Who Broke his Cymbal
This runs so deep for those of us who were ever in concert or marching band. That time f’ing Seth’s trombone fell apart in the middle of third bar?! Ha! What a memory, guys.
Kai the Hitchhiker
Set aside the fact that this hitchhiker “straight outta Dogtown” from West Virginia, *wink wink*, was charged with the murder of a male companion in November, for a minute. Up until then, dude was hailed a hero, both in the common sense of the word for possibly saving some innocent lives by disabling a crazed man with the butt of the HATCHET he just happened to be carrying around and also in Internet terms for his forever-classic “suh-mash!” reenactment and epically honest interview.
Kmart’s Jingle Balls
It’s officially called “Show Your Joe,” but I prefer to refer to it as the more anatomically correct “Jingle Balls.” Way to give the people what they want, Kmart: ding dongs. (Fun fact: The ad was created by Chicago agency DraftFCB.)
The Manti Te’o Girlfriend Hoax
Deadspin
Arguably the most fascinating news story of the year — no, really — the Deadspin reveal of college football star Manti Te’o and the years he spent spinning lies about a faux girlfriend and the resulting downward spiral spawned a thousand memes (including “T’eoing, featuring RedEye’s Ernest Wilkins, ahem). It was probably the most potent example of a massive news story (sports or not) that dominated airwaves for days, but originated from a story posted to the web by nontraditional “media.” The story’s tentacles reached to nearly area of Internet interest, including MTV’s documentary-turned-TV show “Catfish.” Can’t say we miss seeing Niev “Ya heard I got Catfished, right?” Schulman as a pundit on every cable news network every hour, but, man, what an incredible thing that happened this year.
Kmart’s Ship my Pants
Also the brainchild of DraftFCB, this is the bizarre but brilliant ad that started a revolution for Kmart, which previously had completely unmemorable ones and experienced some serious success in 2013 with the popularity of these ads, including one about “big gas savings” and a “yo mama” commercial for the hell of it.
Geico’s Hump Day
Just because you’re sick of it now doesn’t mean it sucks. This was impossibly hilarious the first 12 or 13 times you saw it, admit it. Its popularity spawned ringtones, more videos and even a damn TOUR. It also led to a teacher banning her students from quoting it — that’s when you know you’ve gone and Don Draper’d.
Unflattering Beyonce
Buzzfeed
This is how to suck at your PR job while actually doing your PR job. Beyonce crushed her Super Bowl half-time performance. A lot. And there were a handful of, um, unflattering photos of Beyonce crushing it. Buzzfeed penned a quick post about how fierce her performance was, with a few of these photos included, and her team went to work to request they be removed. Your bad, Beyonce Power Squad. The Internet quickly went to work to ‘shop the images, and a meme was born. Whatever, Beyonce still fierce.
I Forgot My Phone
It’s well done — that’s why it’s on this list — but this two-minute cautionary tale about how much your life actually sucks when you’re always on your phone made me feel the same way about my phone as “Supersize Me” did about McDonald’s. I just wanted more of it afterward. Nearly 35 million views later, we … haven’t learned a thing.
Taylor Swift Goat
And then we were never able to listen to “Trouble” the same way again. Can you believe this has only been in our lives for less than a year? It led to many (many) more goat parodies and supercuts, none of which will ever be superior to the original, and a seal of approval from Taylor, herself. (I’d highly recommend the recent Lorde Goat or the Taylor Swift Paper Towel Dispenser versions, though.)
Potentially Deadly Fenway Selfie
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Most dangerous selfie ever. That happened. @ Fenway Park http://t.co/Mg9IQOoFvp
— Kelly Nash (@KNashSports) April 27, 2013
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It didn’t hit her.
Lipreading Umpire fights
This one might not have gone technically “viral,” (if you want to argue about viral technicalities I would like to instruct you to find the nearest doorjam and slam your neck in it) but I found it particularly enjoyable, since coach-ump fights rank among my top favorite things ever. Watch the Dale Sveum one if you want to get nostalgic.
The Time the Obama Girls Got Caught Taking Selfies
Getty Images
It was during President Obama’s inaugural parade, and we kindly tip our caps to them. The selfie busted ‘round the world.
Field Runner Selfies
i.imgur.com
I’ll say it: This is arguably the greatest selfie ever taken. Three girls ran onto the field of the College World Series in Omaha, Neb., and captured the whole thing via Vine and with a series of blurry shots. They were escorted from the field and fined, but THE MEMORIES, MY GOD. Also, it’s the College World Series … ?
Bat Dad Vine Videos
It is with complete shock and awe that we are to believe that Bat Dad’s wife isn’t completely annoyed with him yet. This hip, young dad likes to talk to his kids (and wife) in his best Batman voice while wearing the mask, and his Vine videos of it are legitimately hilarious. Almost makes me want to have kids (as long as I can give them back after they’re no longer fun).
Vine Compilations
Most of these YouTube videos are a solid 10 minutes or longer, and some of them are unbelievably stupid and boring. But then, you find a great one, you watch it with your coworkers, and you and have to leave the building to cool off because you’ve been laughing too damn hard and have begun to sweat.
Batkid
You are a g’damn monster if this story didn’t at least make you well up a bit. Make a Wish made a young cancer survivor’s dream of becoming Batman for a day by transforming San Francisco into Gotham City. You know the rest — tens of thousands turned out to support, President Obama congratulated the kid on Vine — but we’d be dumb as hell to not include this one as a viral thing that didn’t actually suck.
“I Quit” Dance Video Girl
Chicaaaaaagoooooo. Marina Shifrin was fed up at work and decided to exit with a bang. So she made an “interpretive dance” video late at night at the office, set to Kanye West’s “Gone.” Internet loves it, girl gets lots of Twitter followers, Queen Latifah offers her a job … you know, the usual. But then, her employer posts a rebuttal video in the same vein http://youtu.be/1ukGrwL4ky4 . Whether you think she’s an entitled millennial (her long blog post about the “death of journalism (to me)” was annoying, at best) or an American hero, it was still amusing for a few days. (Fun fact: That Kanye song from 2005’s “Late Registration” was never released as a single but made the Billboard Top 20 not long after Marina included it in her video — eight years after it was released. INTERNET.)
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