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It’s generally frowned upon to make assumptions about people, but we’ve come to some wonderful conclusions about you, dear RedEye reader. After a super-scientific look at our web traffic in 2016, we pinpointed the five most-read Eat & Drink stories of the year. Turns out, you really enjoy drinking outside and poking fun at our future president. Here’s a look at the headlines that made you click.

Jillian Shallow dances with a man in an Elmo suit.
Jillian Shallow dances with a man in an Elmo suit.

5. Under Clubber: Porn and Chicken Monday

Earlier this year, nightlife reporter Heather Schroering took readers to five wildly entertaining weeknight dance parties, including Porn and Chicken at Evil Olive in West Town. Advertised as a “safe haven for all things lewd and crude, lascivious and licentious,” the Monday night jam is a freeing environment where guests are encouraged to be themselves with the help of a DJ and no-phones-out policy. And yes, porn and chicken are included.

4. The Wiener’s Circle welcomes Donald Trump with 3-inch hot dog deal

Back in March when President-elect Donald Trump was swinging through Chicago for a rally at UIC Pavilion, the friendly folks at The Wiener’s Circle decided to give him one hell of a welcome with a special weekend offer: the “Trump footlong,” a 3-inch hotdog with Chicago-style toppings. Thanks for the giggles, guys.

A burger, fries and beer at Celeste in River North
A burger, fries and beer at Celeste in River North

3. 38 essential Chicago late-night eats, sorted by neighborhood

This one is pretty self-explanatory. We can only hope that this comprehensive guide served as a treasure map to lots of tasty and regrettable drunk food.

2. Chicago summer festival guide 2016: 140+ fests

We endure long, harsh winters for one reason, and one reason only: fest season. With more than 140 summer festivals in 2016, you stayed plenty busy and maybe even caught a tan. Fan-favorite veterans such as Chicago Craft Beer Week, Do Division Street Fest and Pitchfork were joined by newbies like Cider & Sliders, Throwback Music Festival and Reggae Fest Chicago.

Aire
Aire

1. Meet Chicago’s 40-plus new rooftops and patios of 2016

We can’t blame you for coming back to this story again and again. Heck, we did too. More than 40 new rooftops and patios popped up around Chicago this summer, including Corridor Brewery & Provisions’ sweet sidewalk oasis and LondonHouse’s sky-high posh rooftop deck with killer views of the city. Just another reason to power through the winter.