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Threesome Advice Panel: My boyfriend and I might have broken up. How do I fix it?

So my boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me two nights ago, and he says we won’t get back together because we broke up before and things went back to the way they were. But I’m trying to explain to him that we haven’t taken a couple of days apart, and now that we have, I’ve had time to think about what I’ve been doing wrong and the things I want to fix. He was supposed to come visit me in 25 days because we are currently in a long-distance relationship, and he hasn’t canceled his flight or taken our relationship off Facebook. I feel like if he was actually done with us, he would have done all those things. He was responding to my calls and texts, but I haven’t heard from him today and I’m trying to get him to give me another chance. I love him so much, and we’ve been through a lot. What should I do at this point? —Question via Reddit, edited for length

THREE ANSWERS

Michelle Lopez

Married | 32 | RedEye digital editor | @michelleglopez

If this relationship is as important to you as you claim, you should recognize and respect what he wants right now. Give the guy some space. I know it seems like the whole world is probably caving in on you right now, but it’s not. There’s no need to panic just because he hasn’t texted you back. It’s only been two days—don’t make yourself crazy by overanalyzing everything. Jumping on Facebook and announcing to his newsfeed that he’s single again probably isn’t the first thing on his mind right now. You claim you can change, well, “walk the walk.” Prove it to him by letting him come to you when he’s ready to sit down and evaluate if this is something that can be saved instead of desperately pleading with him to give you another chance.

Jake Newton

In a relationship | 24 | RedEye designer | @jnewt

You poor soul! I think you need to slam on the brakes here and take a good look at what’s going on. You got dumped (again), and he said he’s done! What makes you want to try and fix this? Additionally, what makes you think this can be fixed? Here’s my hot take for the day: You are someone who feels the need to control the situation, which is perfectly fine, but you can’t control this one. Relationships are based on mutual agreements and understandings, and he says he wants out. You sweet, sweet angel, if he’s not into it anymore, you should respect that. You’re only making it harder for yourself. Now, it’s time to move on. End the relationship on Facebook, stop calling and shoot him a text to cancel the flight. There’s no use crying over spilled milk or stupid boys who aren’t into you.

Morgan Olsen

In a relationship | 28 | RedEye eat & drink, lifestyles editor | @morgancolsen

Giving the situation space is a good first step, but here’s what I’d recommend doing next. Reach out and ask if he’s still planning to visit (a very reasonable question) and mention that you’d like to talk things through in person. Something like this: “Hey, I wanted to check in to see if you were still planning on coming out in a few weeks. If you are, I think it would be a good time to talk through things and figure out if we can make this work. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.” If he’s still planning to visit, you should give each other space before the reunion. If not, you have your answer.

Thanks for reading “Threesome.” Each week, we take a look at a relationship question from the public and have three panelists give their insights. Have a question to ask? Shoot it over to us on Twitter at @redeyechicago or on our Facebook page. If it’s a little more private, feel free to email it to redeye@redeyechicago.com with the word “Threesome” in the subject line.