I am recently dating someone 18 years older than me. It started off as just something new and fun, never meaning to go further than friends with benefits. We have now been dating for a year and 3 months. Everything seems perfect. We match in maturity levels, sexual desires, wants and plans for future arrangements, and we agree with each other on most subjects (with a few exceptions). I have no problem with going out with him and introducing him to my friends. But I believe it is time to mention something to my parents. Wondering how I should go about this? Should I wait longer to say something?
—Question via Reddit, edited for length
Morgan Olsen
In a relationship | 28 | @morgancolsen | RedEye Eat & Drink, Lifestyles editor
It sounds like you’ve found quite a match—congratulations! I think you should rip off the Band-Aid and tell your parents sooner rather than later. It will give them more time to process the information and have an open dialogue with you about it (should they have any issues). Start by letting them know you’re seeing someone and let them ask the questions. I’m sure they’ll want to know what he does, where he’s from and, eventually, how old he is. You’re not doing anything wrong, so there’s no need to preface the conversation with, “Well, you might not approve, but he’s …” Instead, go into it with a calm, level head, and be open to answering their questions or concerns. If you freak out about it, so will they. Best of luck!
Isaac
Host, devil’s advocate and resident know-it-all of “The Tequila Tales” | In a relationship | 36 | @thetequilatales
Introducing a potential partner to your parents is generally regarded as a pretty big deal in and of itself, but adding a generational age difference to the conversation makes your apprehension totally justifiable. I suggest you broach the topic in a delicate yet very direct manner. If your parents express any discontent, it will most likely be rooted in their concerns that you are being taken advantage of. So your delivery of this information needs to invoke within them positive emotions that their confident adult daughter has made a decision about who she loves. Be firm in this stance, and your parents won’t have a choice but to accept that your chosen mate is going to be a part of your life.
Courtney Jacquin
In a relationship | 24 | @courtneyjacquin | Writer and editor
Anything over a year of dating is definitely in the realm of not casual anymore, and if you’re close enough with your parents, any time at this point would be the time to tell them about your beau. Are you worried that they’ll think the age difference is weird? Eighteen is definitely … a lot, but if you don’t make a big deal about it, it hopefully won’t be one. Just don’t remind your parents that you were 4 when he was graduating from college. That’s weird. Men take a while to mature, so if you feel like you’re at the same place in all aspects of life, they’ll respect that, hopefully. If he’s a good dude, that’s all that matters, right?
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