I’ve been talking with this girl [on Tinder] for about two weeks now. My first and only Tinder date this past summer wasn’t that great, her photos were old and very misleading, which made things awkward for me as the attraction wasn’t there for me. I’m a short guy, about 5’5″. She’s 5’8″. Now should I bring up height somehow before the date, or just not worry about it? It doesn’t really bother me at all, but I’ve been straight-up rejected to my face about my height.
THREE ANSWERS
Shelbie Bostedt
Single | 23 | RedEye online content coordinator | @shelbielbostedt
You definitely owe it to this new girl to be frank with her about your height. That may seem shallow, but Tinder doesn’t allow her the same early out like assessing how tall you are in a bar (or some other social setting). Not to say your height is a huge detriment for everybody, but for her it may be important when choosing a partner. From now on, I would list your height in your profile just to avoid these possible awkward situations.
Jake Newton
In a relationship | 24 | RedEye designer | @jnewt
Can you just tell her now? Spare yourself some embarrassment if you think she might “straight-up” reject you to your face. Worst comes to worst, you have a free night to yourself. Example: Go see a movie. I hear “Star Wars” was pretty good. Tinder blesses you with the ability to give full disclosure of anything that might cause an issue before you get attached, so if your height turns out to be a real deal-breaker, at least you’re excused from some of the humiliation that a face-to-face encounter might cause. You can only be what you are, my shining star. While Michael Jordan might have a few inches on you, you’re not the first man to gaze up into his lady’s eyes. Just make sure she’s not an ass about it first so you don’t get your heart broken. And if you’re feeling a little spicy, hit her with the “I may be a short man, but there’s nothing short about my monster [bleep]” line.
Michelle Lopez
Married | 32 | RedEye digital editor | @michelleglopez
What are you hoping will happen if you bring this up before the date? If you want reassurance that she isn’t going to care about how tall you are, maybe you should just put your height on your Tinder profile. That way, anyone who swipes right knows who they are getting and can decide if that’s something that is a deal-breaker for them. I know the rejection must feel like a bummer, but you can’t really blame them—you said yourself, you weren’t attracted to your previous Tinder date. It happens to lots of matches and is completely OK. Either way, I wouldn’t bring in any old baggage to this new date. Height isn’t the end-all, be-all for all people. Go into the date confidently and don’t let previous bad experiences scare you off. If it works, it works. And if not, it’s going to be OK. Eventually you’ll find someone who says, “Shorty swing my way.”
Thanks for reading “Threesome.” Each week, we take a look at a relationship question from the public and have three panelists give their insights. Have a question to ask? Shoot it over to us on Twitter at @redeyechicago or on our Facebook page. If it’s a little more private, feel free to email it to redeye@redeyechicago.com with the word “Threesome” in the subject line.
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