A long time ago, around 1999, we used to spend hours talking on the phone. Then, when cellphone packages began including unlimited text messages, we stopped talking and started texting. Calling someone usually got you their voicemail, and a text from them 10 seconds later.
Eventually we stopped texting altogether. With everyone screening their calls and texts, it became almost impossible to get ahold of someone who had their phone on them. You could expect a response anywhere within a few hours to a few days, if the person was polite. Meanwhile, seeing Instagram posts from the same person you were waiting to hear from wasn’t unheard of.
So when I saw my other half, a maniacal texter, talking to her iPhone the other day, I was happy to see someone actually using their phone to communicate, like in the old days. Then I realized she wasn’t on a call—silly me—she was sending someone an audio message. The person texted back, she read it and she sent another audio message.
When I asked why she didn’t just call the person, she hit me with a gem: “I just want them to hear me. I don’t have time for their response.” That was a pretty little lie, since she was watching “Pretty Little Liars” and apparently had enough time to waste some.
Over the past five years or so, writers and experts have berated what the cover of Time magazine called “The Me Me Me Generation.” Psychology professor Jean Twenge has written two books on the subject, including “Generation Me,” and is considered the main proponent of the Millennial narcissism theory. In a 2010 study on generational empathy, researcher Sara Konrath described the generation born roughly after “Thriller” as “one of the most self-centered, narcissistic, competitive, confident and individualistic in recent history,” according to Psychology Today.
There are as many theories for the cause of Millennial selfishness as there are articles blasting it. One of the most popular is that Millennials were raised to believe each is special. Some people, like Konrath, blame reality-show celebrity culture and increasing violence in movies and video games. Sociology professor Claude Fischer argues that the self-awareness Millennials display is being mistaken for self-centeredness, and that Millennials are simply members of an increasingly democratic society. For her part, Twenge thinks social media encourages both vanity and detachment.
The causes behind Millennial me-ism are probably all of the above.
I’m a writer, which means I might be the most self-centered person you’re likely to meet (unless you’ve met Trump). Yet I like to think I’m more self-conscious than anything. I think mostly of myself, but I care mostly about others. I focus on being the most I can be in the hope that I’ll be of some use to other people.
Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to tell you, my fellow Millennials, is that you should stop being so narcissistic and start being more like me.
Hector Luis Alamo is a RedEye special contributor.
