Twenty-four hours after baseball bats brought so much joy across the country, a baseball bat hammered down on loyal “Walking Dead” viewers, thrilling some, angering many and causing some to quit the show for good.
While Cubs fans have endured 108 years of futility, they have a chance for redemption in the coming weeks. “Walking Dead” fans may have to wait just as long to celebrate. This is a series that swings wildly between nihilism and brainless violence, only pausing occasionally for often-arbitrary character development. It is a piñata full of parlor tricks and empty shock-value calories.
Seven months ago, the evil Negan killed someone. One third of the way through the season premiere, we learned who that was, but not before some red herring flashbacks to further muddle the issue. For seven months, fans have made peace with the prospect of anyone dying, so when two major players were killed, the shock was muted. It was a total strategic misfire, resulting in a 60-minute masochistic march of violence.
This season, RedEye will chart the Walking Dead (characters making positive moves), the Stumbling Dead (characters who took a step back) and the Dead Dead (R.I.P.). We’ll also hand out BRAAAAAAAAAAINS to the episode MVP and NO BRAAAAAAAAAAINS to the person who blew it the hardest.
THE WALKING DEAD
Negan: Where do you begin with this psycho? He’s a one-dimensional bully spouting cocky tough talk. He’s a walking, talking, breathing Donald Trump rally. Is that interesting? Negan is the living embodiment of any Eminem song about his ex-wife. There is some shock value to his violence, but it seems needlessly theatrical. One would think having to murder and intimidate your way into power would become tiresome. Instead, Negan seems to relish the opportunity to kill. If you can’t empathize with a villain, he becomes a monster. In the apocalypse, such confrontations probably would happen, but they would more likely be an occupational hazard than a perk. It’s a shame that Negan appears to be bound to function as a bogeyman, turning up at season premieres and mid-season finales to threaten our heroes. Will there ever be nuance to this character or is he just going to run around laughing and playing whack-a-mole with various skulls? The most interesting moment of the episode was when Negan spared Rick from having to sever Carl’s arm. The threat of violence can be as powerful as the act itself.
The Saviors: Negan’s gang theoretically benefits from whatever Rick’s group will bring them. So there’s that.
Rick’s Snot Bubble: Honestly, one of the better acting performances we’ve seen on the show. It appeared and vanished in a moment of pure honesty. It will be missed.
THE STUMBLING DEAD
Rick: Poor Andrew Lincoln. He spent the hour being soaked by fluids. There was the blood from Abraham, his own sweat and snot and tears, zombie gunk and the blood from Negan’s axe. He looked like a cat after a bath, all trembling and shocked. After Abe was killed, Rick had to watch Daryl lash out, leading to Glenn’s death. Then Negan dragged Rick on an RV joy ride through a zombie pile and threw him out to fend for himself. Rick took the world’s longest detour to the RV ladder and camped out on the roof for a while, flashing back to his friends’ deaths, both real and imagined. Eventually, he gave in to Negan’s demands and they drove back to the group. After one last threat of having to amputate Carl’s arm, Rick was completely on Team Negan. It was an hour of cinematic waterboarding.
Daryl: Of course Daryl would take a swing at Negan. He’s got a lot of pent-up rage and a strong moral compass. He’s often a proxy for the viewers and this episode was no different. It’s a little tiresome how the writers drag him away from the group whenever they want to add tension. Will Daryl survive? Of course he will, but the writers want to tease you with the perceived threat something will happen to him before the series finale.
Maggie: Considering Maggie and Glenn’s relationship is the only one that has much heft on the show, it’s a shame she had to watch her husband die. Now, she’ll have to raise that baby alone. But considering how quickly she moved past the deaths of her father and sister, she’ll probably be fine within a day or two.
The Rest of Rick’s Group: Those poor actors had to spend the entire episode on their knees. Did anyone else have more than one line of dialogue? Michonne said one thing. Aaron, Sasha, Rosita and Eugene didn’t have much to do. Oh, well. Maybe the now-smaller cast can get some time to make us care about them. I think we know more about Rick’s snot bubble than Rosita.
DEAD DEAD
Abraham: He will be missed for his frank talk and comic relief skills. Abe randomly stopped loving Rosita and started crushing on Sasha last year. Both women got to watch his execution. To his credit, he invited Negan to “suck [his] nuts” before dying.
Glenn: There was no reason to have Glenn survive the ridiculous dumpster incident only to kill him off here. Was the dumpster thing just a test run to see how upset the audience would be? And what was the purpose of bringing him back only to execute him a few episodes later? Glenn’s bulging eyeball looked like a bad Halloween mask. In both executions, the show seemed to throw up a major middle finger by having Negan continue beating their heads until they were puddles. Totally unnecessary.
BRAAAAAAAAAAINS
Carl: At least the kid could read the room. He knew that giving up his arm might stop the bloodshed. Kudos to him for being willing to lose a limb for the team. He was the only one thinking straight the whole episode.
NO BRAAAAAAAAAAINS
Scott Gimple: Last season’s cliffhanger was unforgivable. Gimple and his minions tried reassuring fans that the wait would be worth it. It wasn’t. It was a cheap trick from a show notorioius for cheap tricks. Consider how much more powerful it would have been to have shown Abraham’s death last season. Rick’s group would have still been on their knees, in danger, when the season drew to a close. They could have started this season with Daryl lashing out, followed by Glenn’s death. That would have been truly shocking. Instead, “The Walking Dead” is playing chicken with their audience as if to say, “How much would you like to suffer?”
It’s fine to have characters die, and on a show like this, it’s necessary. But to drag out the misery, to glorify violence against fan favorites, to linger on gore and to make the audience endure 60 minutes of torture seems perverse. In the show’s best moments, it has explored notions of courage and sacrifice in an unkind world. In its worst moments, it has reveled in violence for violence’s sake. The season premiere was the latter. There is a way to have thrilling, terrifying and violent moments that resonate beyond a momentary shock.
“The Walking Dead” seems incapable of achieving that, and that will
likely result in its eventual downfall. Everyone has their limit to how much death they can watch, especially when it’s thrown around as casually as it is on this show.
2.5 stars (out of four)
Ben Bowman is a RedEye contributor. @bowmaninc
