What a frustrating show this is. Whenever “The Walking Dead” hints at major changes that could upset the status quo, the show bends over backward to put things back the way they were. Spencer’s potential coup? Extinguished. Carl’s possible seduction to Negan’s side? Forget it. The prospect of Daryl eventually breaking? Never mind.
This entire half season was best summed up by Michonne’s ride. She drove a little way, saw that things were challenging, so she turned around and drove back.
In so many ways, the midseason finale was just a weak echo of the season premiere. Negan again killed two characters (though far less beloved characters). Perhaps because these were lesser group members, Rick and company now have a reason to believe they can fight and win. But they stood a greater chance immediately after Glenn and Abraham were killed, when they still had their full arsenal. The U-turn here feels completely random.
The episode ended with an extended smile session that seemed lifted directly from the end of “The Return of the King.” For several minutes, characters just smiled and smiled and smiled. Perhaps those smiles mean they’re ready to take action when they return from the midseason break.
This season, RedEye will chart the Walking Dead (characters making positive moves), the Stumbling Dead (characters who took a step back) and the Dead Dead (R.I.P.). We’ll also hand out BRAAAAAAAAAAINS to the episode MVP and NO BRAAAAAAAAAAINS to the person who blew it the hardest.
WALKING DEAD
Negan: Though the choice to drink lemonade with spaghetti seems unwise, Negan gets what Negan wants. In this episode, the newly shaved Negan was once again much easier to stomach. When Rick finally arrives, Negan explains the logic behind each of his brutal decisions. In his mind, he had a good reason to kill Spencer and let his thug kill Olivia. After Eugene’s confession, the decision to take him was easy. Indeed, he does show Carl extraordinary mercy, considering his solo attack on The Sanctuary. This Negan makes far more sense than the one who drove Rick out to a zombie obstacle course for his own amusement in the season premiere. It would be nice to see if Negan has a larger plan at work than the miscellaneous bullying and plundering that marks his regime to date. Does he want praise? Is he content to be feared? Does he aspire to something bigger and better or is he simply a bored despot? If this is all there is to Negan, he’s not going to be very interesting as we go forward.
Arat: Negan’s henchwoman holds a knife to Rosita’s face, then randomly executes Olivia. Honestly, she could have killed half the cast and it would not have affected the show much. Arat must be happy just to get some autonomy in her work.
Jesus: This guy is the Boba Fett of “The Walking Dead.” He shows up, does something seemingly cool, then vanishes. For reasons unknown, he was able to infiltrate The Sanctuary, discern which cell was Daryl’s, provide him a way out and rendezvous with him at the motorcycle corral, all without being discovered. We can’t tell you anything more about Jesus because the show never provides any scenes for his character to develop, but he seems basically untouchable.
Daryl: Everybody’s favorite monosyllabic biker dude finally made his escape from his cell, got two new shirts and a hat, scarfed down a jar of peanut butter and made his getaway. It’s unfortunate to see Daryl murder Fat Joey, especially since he’s been a relatively tame member of The Sanctuary and he made a compelling argument to stay alive. But Daryl obviously has some anger to work out after his incarceration. Apparently, he also found Rick’s revolver somewhere, which would have been nice to see when that occurred, instead of trying to figure out it that came from when it appeared in the final moments.
Maggie: She’s wearing a baseball hat, which reminds us of Glenn’s look in the early seasons. It also serves to cover up her ill-advised haircut at the end of last season. The members of The Hilltop are apparently whispering that she could be their new leader, and she proves her capability by noting that children need pencils to write. She gets to eat Gregory’s apple and an apple pie that is delivered due to her heroics three episodes ago. Of all our heroes, Maggie seems in the best mental shape, despite losing her husband a few short days ago. Considering how quickly she got over the deaths of her father and sister, that is not surprising.
Ratty Boot Guy: It’s a mysterious boot mysteriously watching Rick and Aaron and sneaking up on Alexandria! Um, OK.
STUMBLING DEAD
Michonne: What a useless errand this was. When she carjacked the Redheaded Savior and made her drive to see other Saviors, what did we learn from that? That Alexandria is outnumbered? Was that not made clear in the last season finale when The Saviors literally shut down four or five major roadways with dozens of fighters in each location? And seeing the overwhelming odds apparently made Michonne realize that the survivors should work together? Isn’t that like Gilligan trying to make a coconut radio, only to realize that asking The Professor for a coconut radio is the more expedient option? Michonne and Carl and Rosita all went rogue this half-season. Their reasons for doing so were muddy, at best. The zombie apocalypse is no time for improvisation. Make a plan with your teammates and stick together. All that was missing from this episode was someone telling the story about how one stick is easily broken, while several sticks together are strong.
Rosita: Should she really be so upset that Negan killed Spencer? Yes, we were briefly reminded that Rosita and Spencer sorta-kinda had a brief fling. But Rosita didn’t lash out when Abraham was killed and she truly loved that guy. We suppose there needed to be some reason for Chekhov’s bullet to make its debut. In any case, Rosita shot Lucille and almost got her face cut up. Instead, Arat killed Olivia, and Eugene was taken hostage. It’s odd that Negan didn’t believe that Rosita manufactured the bullet. He doesn’t know her well enough to know that’s a lie. It’s also probable she simply found a bullet on a
supply run. But for dramatic purposes, we’ll allow that Negan is an eyesight ballistics expert and that Rosita should feel a world of guilt for Olivia and Eugene. Rosita should have listened to Father Gabriel. Oh, well.
Eugene: Our poor, sweet, mulleted genius is being dragged off to take Daryl’s place in jail. There’s that old “Walking Dead” equilibrium at work again. Daryl gets out, Eugene goes in. By that logic, Eugene can expect his jailbreak in the season finale, just in time for someone else to be taken hostage.
Rick: Our hero displays some nifty agility in getting the Swiss cheese boat over to the canoe and then making his way to the house boat. He showed great restraint when Aaron was getting beat up, then halfway stood up to Negan by asking him to leave. Now, he has his gun back and some strange new reason to believe he should fight The Saviors. In any case, we welcome the prospect of Active Rick next year. It would have been amazing to see how Rick would have reacted to seeing Negan hold Judith, but the writers flushed that opportunity down the toilet.
Aaron: He gives a nice speech about how survival means a chance to improve things. He dodges the swimming zombies with some nifty underwater acrobatics. Unfortunately, he also leaves the taunting note from the survivalist inside the supplies he brings back to Alexandria. Why not leave it on the boat? That carelessness got him beaten up. Then again, his heart is still beating. Live to fight another day, Aaron.
Eric: Remember this guy? He’s Aaron’s boyfriend and he’s back! Having made his semi-annual appearance, he now returns to the shadows where he will be forgotten and not referenced.
Gregory: It looks like he may lose The Hilltop to Maggie, the same way he lost his apple.
Tara: This was the week everyone ignored Tara. She offered to take Olivia’s place at the dinner table with Negan, and Olivia turned her down. She tried to claim that she made the bullet, and she wasn’t believed. Though you literally contributed nothing of narrative value, thank you for participating, Tara. We have some lovely parting gifts for you.
Carl: He did nothing this entire episode, except making sure his emo-hair flopped precisely over his eye hole.
Morgan: He tried to drop some supplies off with Carol and instead had to listen to her moan about wanting to be left alone. Stop trying, Morgan. Carol is a dead-end plot thread until the show needs her to fight Negan someday. Go hang out with King Ezekiel. He’s way more fascinating.
The Tom Sizemore-lookin’ Savior: The last time we saw this guy, he gave off some creepy vibes while messing with Enid’s balloons. Now, he takes pleasure in beating up Aaron over the survivalist’s note. This guy may want to cool it with the taunting. He won’t get a sorrowful farewell like Fat Joey when he gets killed.
Richard: It’s been so long since we saw this guy, we had to consult “The Walking Dead” Wiki to remember his name. The armor-wearing soldier from The Kingdom wants Carol and Morgan to convince King Ezekiel to take the fight to Negan. It’s an interesting possibility, but since this plot thread went nowhere, it didn’t need to be in this episode.
Sasha: She presumably got some of that apple pie, but then she had to listen to Enid whine. Sasha is in dire need of a legitimate storyline of her own. She’s only been a hanger-on for Tyreese, Bob and Abraham. Will she ever do something independently? There was that time she got all morbid and suicidal, but that never went anywhere. Maybe she can go to Oceanside and rule as queen of the Amazons.
Enid: She really is the worst. Her entire function in this episode was to remind Sasha that teamwork is better than individual freelancing. Considering Enid’s propensity to run away from Alexandria, the message and the messenger don’t quite match up.
Redheaded Savior: Did she die? After Michonne carjacked her, she drove her to the Savior army and told Michonne to turn back. Michonne did turn around, but we don’t know what happened to this woman. Best-case scenario: She’s going to get a poor performance review from Negan.
The Savior Who Wanted to Buy Spencer a Sandwich: Her blossoming love was cut short because Spencer is a moron who got himself killed. More
sandwich for her! (Hope she didn’t want peanut butter. Daryl ate all of it.)
DEAD DEAD
Olivia: This poor woman was the butt of fat jokes from Negan even after she died. To her credit, she watched over Judith and even got to slap Negan in the last episode. As a virtual non-entity, she will not be missed on the show.
Spencer: Deanna’s idiot son spilled his guts after a friendly game of pool. Had he succeeded in rallying people against Rick’s leadership, that would have been an interesting storyline. In hindsight, we see that his only function was to whine about Rick and provide an unfulfilling detour from the main narrative.
Fat Joey: He was the one Savior we could actually like. Fat Joey did his job perfectly. When he encountered Daryl, he made a surprisingly cogent argument for why he should live. Instead, he was beaten to death with a metal pole. Godspeed, Fat Joey. You deserved better.
BRAAAAAAAAAAINS
Father Gabriel: This season has been a godsend to our priest. Every time he appeared on camera this season, he provided wisdom and kindness and humor. In seasons past, you’d see Father Gabriel and roll your eyes, worried about what kind of cowardice he’d pull. This season, you leaned forward, waiting to hear him speak truth. When an obviously troubled Rosita entered the church, he tried to talk her off a ledge, reminding her that she is valuable to the group. While he agrees Negan needs to die, he doesn’t want to see anyone else die, too. Instead of stumbling down random dead-end storylines, characters should visit Father Gabriel for a dose of common sense. He’s one of the only characters who doesn’t talk about what people are doing, he talks about how people feel about the events on the show. For that reason, he’s one of the best things “The Walking Dead” has going for it.
NO BRAAAAAAAAAAINS
Carol: Dear “Walking Dead” writers, please stop showing us characters who don’t want to act. Whether it’s Morgan or Carol in any given episode, the reluctance to act is not a compelling thing to watch. Carol wants to be left alone. Sure, everyone in the apocalypse wants to be left alone. Unfortunately, you’re in the apocalypse. That’s not an option. If Carol is going to sit and mope, we don’t need to see her. We just assume she’s sitting and moping. So let her sit and mope off camera. Spend your precious screen time on characters who are actually making choices.
As we look back at this half-season, we see that the entire story could have been told in three episodes. Had Negan killed Abraham at the end of last season, he could have killed Glenn at the beginning of this one. Later that episode, we could have done a time jump to reveal Alexandria in its new servitude. In the second episode, we could have explored the various communities: The Hilltop, Oceanside, The Kingdom and The Sanctuary. In the third episode, we could have had everything that happened the past two weeks. Instead, we dragged this thing out to eight episodes, several of which had extended run times.
This show has such great potential as an action show and a character study in times of stress. When it clicks, it’s a thrilling hour of escape. When it misfires, it feels like the worst kind of homework. Let’s hope the series regains its footing next year. 2016 has been rough for almost everybody.
The Walking Dead
Season 7, Episode 8
2 stars (out of 4)
Ben Bowman is a RedEye contributor.
