Super Bowl LI is fast approaching, with the Atlanta Falcons facing the New England Patriots on Sunday at Houston’s NRG Stadium. With that comes a cornucopia of people hosting watch parties and gatherings to check out the big game.
Depending on the quality of your friends, Super Bowl parties can be extremely fun or extremely terrible. If you’re unsure what I mean by that, you might be an obnoxious Super Bowl party guest. Thankfully, I made a brief guide on how to be a good party guest this Super Bowl Sunday.
1. Don’t be a ‘sportsball’ idiot.
There are few inconsequential things worse than the insufferable jamoke saying something like “Oh, is sportsball on?” during the Super Bowl or any major sporting event. One, it’s played out, and two, the punch line is, “Wow, I’m actually the worst to be around,” rather than, “Isn’t it ironic I called it ‘sportsball’?”
Whether you like sports isn’t noteworthy or interesting. Calling football “sportsball” is the equivalent of saying something like “I don’t even own a TV” and expecting it to be a signal of moral superiority. It isn’t, and you’re just the worst. If you have the urge to talk about how much you don’t like the reason a party exists while attending the party, you’re not going to win anyone over.
2. Don’t let your temper land you on worldstarhiphop.com.
Recently, videos of socially maladjusted fans destroying expensive TVs after disappointing sports losses have been going viral, especially on sites such as worldstarhiphop.com. While I completely understand the inherent value in watching people behave poorly, please don’t do this. If you’re either a bandwagon Patriots fan or supporting the Falcons, it’s not a good look to act like that because of a game.
3. Don’t forget to bring something.
I recently watched a fun but extremely silly movie called “Kingsman: The Secret Service.” It wasn’t great, but it did feature a scene where Colin Firth says, “Manners maketh man. Do you know what that means? Then let me teach you a lesson,” before beating up some bad guys.
When attending a party, bringing beer, an appetizer or chips and dip is just good manners, especially if the host requests it. Follow that advice and there’s a 99.8 percent chance Colin Firth won’t kick your butt at your Super Bowl party.
Bonus: You can and should make fun of Tom Brady.
@joshhterry | jterry@redeyechicago.com
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