They are on every feed on every social network. You cannot escape them. They follow you, staring at you as they unsuccessfully try to invoke some sort of burning motive inside your brain.
“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” “When you feel like quitting, think about why you started.” “Instead of thinking outside the box, get rid of the box.” “Stop hating yourself for what you aren’t and start loving yourself for what you are.”
Did you just throw up all over your newspaper or keyboard?
If so, you and I are the same person: We utterly despise motivational quotes. And rightfully so, because they’re fucking pointless. As are the people who repurpose them atop a photograph of the Pacific Ocean that they stole from Google Images.
You’re a simpleton. You fit stereotypes perfectly. You gain weight every year and pledge that starting Jan. 1, you’re truly going to transform your nutrition and exercise habits. You plaster “Pain is just weakness leaving the body” quotes as your Facebook status and upload photos of Jillian Michaels as your #wcw (women crush Wednesday).
Then, right around three weeks later, someone tags you in a photo at Pequod’s Pizza on Clybourn Avenue at 1 a.m. as you’re taking down three slices with a Goose Island Green Line.
Welp. So much for that quote you posted last week all about your body being a “temple” and how you “totally don’t even crave carbohydrates anymore.” You’re a liar. And so predictable. And annoying.
Look, the point is simple: Motivational quotes don’t actually do anything when pushed out on the Internet. Sure, they can inspire people. Write one on your bathroom mirror in dry-erase marker. Or in your planner. That’s cool.
But tweeting out motivational quotes? We don’t need motivation. You do. A lot more than you realize, too. You are so obviously searching for the validation that your actual friends don’t give you. Your self-consciousness is glowing when you post, “Stop wishing. Start doing.”
And we’re not wearing sunglasses, so it really stings. And we can’t help but squint and try to block it out.
Learn to be OK with having thoughts and motivating yourself as one person. And if you’re the type of person publicly “liking” these repurposed, unoriginal posts on Facebook? And retweeting? And regramming them? You’re an enabler. You’re giving people motivation to post motivational quotes.
And I’m motivated to tell you to “change your habits.”
Put that on a poster and tack it up in your apartment, ya dolt.
