Oh, it hurts so much to see Lake Bell and Simon Pegg, both so naturally charming, sink to the regressive, stupid levels of “Man Up,” the kind of romantic comedy that reminds you why the genre continues to wheeze and sputter and die while the few good ones that come out (such as this year’s “Sleeping with Other People”) don’t get enough eyes or discussion on them.
In a nutshell, the horrible, contrived premise is that Nancy (Bell, doing a decent English accent) pretends to be the 24-year-old triathlete blind date that Jack (Pegg) was expecting to meet under a giant clock at the train station. Meanwhile she blows off her parents’ 40th anniversary party and the central pair is apparently meant for each other because they both like “The Silence of the Lambs.” I watched this movie, opening this weekend at the Gene Siskel Film Center, believing these stars had to make this cliché festival better than it sounded. Nope. Nope. Nope.
While we’re here, a few not-at-all-pressing questions worth asking about this drivel:
1. Can we just not have any more romantic comedy main characters, especially if they’re female, whose main traits are being socially awkward and having a long list of mantras (like “Put yourself out there” and “Get stronger thighs”)?
2. Is Nancy, while pretending her name is Jessica, really so foolish that she’d agree to kiss Sean (Rory Kinnear), a creepy guy from her past, just so he won’t spill her secret to Jack?
3. And is there anyone on the face of the planet whose eyes won’t roll partially out of their head as Jack walks into the women’s bathroom just as Nancy’s about to fulfill her promise to that blackmailing weirdo?
4. Is it just mandatory that a bag will be left behind at a bar, people will get their possessions mixed up and a late-movie speech will try to tack on feeling that hasn’t been earned at all?
5. Does Jack really believe Nancy is 24 (Bell is 36)?!
6. I mean, this dialogue? Seriously? “What exactly are you hoping to achieve?” “I believe they call it closure.”
7. How many misunderstandings can one movie have without becoming a pitch for its own failed, half-hour network comedy pilot?
8. Is it not despicable that a running declaration of stability winds up—spoiler alert, I guess—resulting in a room full of people at Nancy’s parents’ party toasting, “Fuck the past”? THIS IS A 40TH ANNIVERSARY PARTY, THAT IS A PLACE WHERE THE PAST SEEMS TO MATTER A LOT.
Don’t. 1 star (out of four)
Instead, see: Pegg in “The World’s End” and Bell in “In a World …”
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