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How do I get to the sex part of ‘Netflix and chill’?

I was watching TV at a girl’s place, just the two of us (she invited me over). We watched Netflix and we chilled. I tried to put my arms around her and I kind of did, but I saw no opening to progress past that. She also wasn’t acting sexual, just friendly. We were laughing and having fun, but it was like we were being friends, not potential sexual partners.

How do I make things sexual? I feel like people make it sound so easy, like you just say the phrase, “Netflix and chill,” then once you’re in the door, the sex just happens.

—Question from Reddit

THREE ANSWERS:

Keri Wiginton

Photo editor and part-time advice giver at the Chicago Tribune | Married, 33

I have been off the casual dating scene for 10 years, so I’ll lead with this sage advice from a friend who is currently single and dating: If you’re into somebody, you’ll at least do a little smoochage, but this sounds like she was all “NUH UH, PLAYA.”

You two clearly were not on the same page. If she didn’t give you a sign that she wanted things to go beyond friendly cuddling, then she didn’t want it to go beyond friendly cuddling. Sometimes watching Netflix and chilling can be just that. You aren’t guaranteed a bang sesh just because Netflix is involved. Also, figuring out how to “get to the sex part” is called dating. If you are only interested in a hookup, then that needs to be clear to both parties from the beginning.

—Keri | @keriphoto

Fred

Host of “Fred and Angi in the Morning” on 103.5 KISS-FM | Single, 35

Doesn’t everyone know that “watching a movie” (Netflix as one means of delivery) means penetration? I felt as though this was social law? This woman is a terrorist!

Actually, there are too many details being left out of this scenario for me to know what she may have been thinking. Are you in the friend zone? Have you two been on romantic dates, prior? Is this your second cousin and you think that is OK?

Without answers to these important queries, I can’t be sure if she is brushing you off or if she is just playing hard to get for now. Maybe try another movie night? Pick a scary or sexy movie, and bring some wine. Set a romantic mood and make your intent clearer without being aggressive or inappropriate. Good luck!

—Fred | @fredonair

Isaac Paul

Host, devil’s advocate and resident know-it-all of “The Tequila Tales” | In a relationship, 36

Ah, the age-old question of how gentlemen can G.T.D. No, not “Getting Things Done” (though it sounds appropriate). I was actually referring to “Getting The Draws.” Skillfully maneuvering the treacherous terrain of the friend zone is more difficult to understand than why the Seahawks didn’t run the ball on the half-yard line.

Good news: You’re already inside the red zone. And by that, I mean inside her house, on the couch and touching. TRUST she would not have allowed you to get this close if she found you repulsive. But to score, don’t go being fancy and overthinking the play, just go for it. Wait till you guys are close and not talking, gently caress her cheek and pull in for the kiss. DON’T TALK ABOUT IT.

If she pulls back, then pick your face up and remain confident in that zone. At the very least, you put your interest out there.

—Isaac | @thetequilatales

Thanks for reading “Threesome.” Each week, we take a look at a relationship question from the public and have three panelists give their insights. Have a question to ask? Shoot it over to us on Twitter at @redeyechicago or on our Facebook page. If it’s a little more private, feel free to email it to redeye@redeyechicago.com with the word “Threesome” in the subject line.

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