For anyone who’s second-guessed sitting down on the CTA, you’re not alone. Because who knows what inconspicuous substance could be lurking amid the fabric on those seats? (Frankly, I’d rather not.)
New York’s transit system has the right idea—hard plastic seats. Comfortable? Absolutely not. But nothing says “I’m confident I’ll have a dry bum when I stand up” like a firm, smooth bench absent of liquid. Unfortunately, we end up taking a gamble every time we plop our derrieres on the CTA’s textile-covered seats.
Sam Matthew, a 31-year-old Logan Square resident, was riding the Blue Line to work one morning when he took that gamble and ended up on the losing side. This is a lightly edited excerpt from an email he sent me, detailing his experience and frustrations:
“Today, like any other day, I took the Blue Line to work. I boarded the train, I saw an empty seat, I checked for any obvious signs of food or debris (a habit borne by my OCD) and I sat down next to another work-bound Chicagoan. The ride itself was uneventful. Upon disembarking from the train I noticed that my butt and my lower back felt wet. Not just damp, but soaked from shirt to jeans to boxers. ‘Oh [bleep],’ I thought. ‘What did I sit in?’
“I rushed to work and went directly to the gym in my office building. I disrobed in the locker room and found a dark yellow/brown stain on the tail of my white shirt. My jeans were wet, my wallet was wet, and my boxers were wet. I took pictures of my wet boxers because I felt like I needed some evidence, and then I changed into my gym clothes. Finally, my morbid curiosity got the best of me. I brought the soiled CTA clothes to my face and inhaled through my nose. They smelled strongly of stale beer. I mean, I’m telling myself that the smell was stale beer. In reality, it was either stale beer or the stale urine of a person who drinks nothing but beer.
“I tossed my damp clothes in a garbage bag, took an Uber home, showered, changed clothes and then Ubered back to work.
“Look, I can deal with the stain on my shirt. If I can’t, hopefully I can find a dry cleaner that can. (I really like that shirt.) And I’m not one of those hardcore denim fans that tries to go for months without washing their jeans, so I don’t mind throwing those in the hamper. However, I was late to work. Very late. That’s not good. And this whole experience put a real damper (pun intended) on my day.”
The CTA has had fabric seating on its trains and buses since the early 1990s.
“The fabric seating has several features that provide comfort and convenience to customers,” CTA spokesman Jeff Tolman said.
“They have Kevlar fabric, which makes the seats difficult to deface. They have anti-slide properties that provide support and keep you stationary in your seat, and the seats in the newest cars … have anti-stain and anti-microbial properties, meaning they are hard to stain and resistant to certain bacteria.”
Tolman said the CTA has received both positive and negative feedback regarding the fabric seating. While some like the comfort (don’t get me started on that scratchy fabric on my bare legs), others have expressed concern over the perceived cleanliness (*cough* for good reason *cough*).
“Our staff cleans the cars before and after service to make sure they’re clean,” Tolman said. “We take care of any issues before it goes back into service, if there are any issues.
“And while we have had complaints about fabric seating, we have began testing hard back seating on a handful of buses, as part of continuing efforts to modernize our fleet.”
If you find yourself suddenly in a pair of ass-drenched pants on the CTA, notify the operator or report it to the customer service department. The CTA said it has employees inspecting the cars and buses regularly throughout the day.
@RianneCoale | rcoale@redeyechicago.com
The Transit Diaries runs in RedEye’s print edition every Tuesday on Page 4. If you have a story you’d like to share, email us at redeye@redeyechicago.com with “Transit Diaries” in the subject line.
