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  • Baked goods behind glass include rosemary sea salt biscuits and...

    Kristan Lieb / Chicago Tribune

    Baked goods behind glass include rosemary sea salt biscuits and banana cardamom tea cake.

  • Brad Pitt, center joins the cast of NBC's "Friends" as...

    DANNY FELD / AP

    Brad Pitt, center joins the cast of NBC's "Friends" as a mystery guest on their Thanksgiving episode in 2001.

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Being a guest at someone else’s Thanksgiving table means you don’t have to reach inside a turkey to retrieve the giblets (unless you want to) or worry about deep-cleaning your apartment. But you’re not off the hook just yet. Whether you know it or not, there are intrinsic rules that come with this honor, and we’re here to break them down for you. And because we’re not total sticklers, we tossed in some Black Wednesday ideas, too.

Brad Pitt, center joins the cast of NBC’s “Friends” as a mystery guest on their Thanksgiving episode in 2001.

NON-NEGOTIABLE RULES OF GUESTING
You had one job! That’s a lie. There are a few things you must do if you’re nabbing a seat at someone else’s table this year.

1. Ask what you can bring.

2. Don’t bring anything you weren’t asked to bring, and don’t ditch out on something you agreed to make.

3. If the host insists there’s nothing you can bring, that’s code for “Pick up a bottle of wine. I like flowers, too.”

4. When you arrive, ask how you can be useful. And for the love of stuffing, stay out of the kitchen unless you’re asked to help with something.

5. Don’t just offer to clear the table, get up and do it.

6. Thank your host before you go. For good measure, text or call the next day as well.

Eli's Cheesecake and Wild Ophelia collaborated on this chocolate banana cheesecake.
Eli’s Cheesecake and Wild Ophelia collaborated on this chocolate banana cheesecake.

I’LL BRING DESSERT
Put down the boring pre-packaged grocery store pumpkin pie and reach for these creative local options that are still available for purchase. But, uh, you might want to hurry up and order today.

A pie pop-up at Cindy’s (12 S. Michigan Ave.): Executive pastry chef Jove Hubbard is whipping up from-scratch classics including pumpkin, pecan, sweet potato and Dutch apple ($25 each). Plus, keep your fellow tablemates on their toes by tossing in a few surprises, such as caramel apples ($5), cider doughnuts ($10) and apple butter ($10). Order at chicagoathleticevents.com by 8 a.m. Monday for pickup Tuesday and 8 a.m. Tuesday for pickup Wednesday. Pickup hours are 3-6 p.m. both days.

Decadent alternatives from Beatrix (519 N. Clark St. 312-284-1377 and 671 N. St. Clair St. 312-642-0001): If your host has a sweet tooth, Oh My! Caramel Pie will be a welcome addition to the table with a shortbread cookie crust and melt-in-your-mouth caramel filling. Or please the chocoholics with the Tall, Dark and Handsome Chocolate Cake ($50 each). Call ahead to order by Monday for pickup Tuesday or Wednesday.

The stupid-easy online order at Eli’s Cheesecake (shop.elicheesecake.com): If you’re barely treading water this week, might we suggest ordering your dessert online? The Chicago-based company has lots of clickable options, but we’re drooling over the limited-edition collaboration with Wild Ophelia: a chocolate banana cheesecake ($49.95) swirled with peanut butter and topped with chocolate ganache and Wild Ophelia Caramelized Bananas and Roasted Peanut Butter cups. Order by Nov. 22 for Thanksgiving Day delivery.

Moneygun
Moneygun

BLACK WEDNESDAY
Since you won’t have to get up at the crack of dawn to stuff a turkey (good call on that), indulge in the best adult holiday there is: Black Wednesday. Here’s what’s happening in Chicago.

Bernie’s Lunch & Supper (660 N. Orleans St. 312-624-9892): Can’t get too rowdy? The River North spot will extend happy hour from 2-8 p.m. with deals including $3 draft beer, $5 sangria, $5 Moscow mules and more.

Commonwealth Tavern (2000 W. Roscoe St. 773-697-7965): Post up and watch the Blackhawks take on the San Jose Sharks on eight TVs (9 p.m.) while sipping $5 seasonal beers and $6 craft cocktails and snacking on half-price wings.

D.S. Tequila Company (3352 N. Halsted Street St. 773-697-9127): Play Team Turkey Trivia from 8-11 p.m. then hit the dance floor for a blacklight neon party complete with tequila tastings from 11 p.m.-2 a.m.

Hubbard Inn (110 W. Hubbard St. 312-222-1331): The River North bar will host a Key Club Supper from 9 p.m.-2 a.m. complete with neon lights, glow-in-the-dark goodies and black lights galore.

Moneygun (660 W. Lake St. 312-600-0600) and Saint Lou’s Assembly (664 W. Lake St.): The West Loop sister spots will both offer $8 black cocktails, a DJ and a fire pit on the shared back patio from 5 p.m.-2 a.m.

Pioneer Tavern Group: Hop on the group’s free annual trolley crawl with stops at Frontier (1072 N. Milwaukee Ave. 773-772-4322), Lotties Pub (1925 W. Cortland St. 773-489-0738) and The Pony Inn (1638 W. Belmont Ave.773-828-5055) and enjoy drink specials along the way. 7 p.m. RSVP at freetrolley@pioneertaverngroup.com.

Spin (344 N. State St. 773-635-9999): Guests are invited to wear all white to the ping pong club’s interactive blacklight party, which will feature specialty cocktail The White Drink ($11) with egg white, pistachio liqueur, rum, demerara syrup, sour mix and grated nutmeg. 8 p.m.

Baked goods behind glass include rosemary sea salt biscuits and banana cardamom tea cake.
Baked goods behind glass include rosemary sea salt biscuits and banana cardamom tea cake.

EXTRA CREDIT
If you want to guarantee a standing invitation to someone else’s Thanksgiving feast for years to come, there’s one last thing you can do. Instead of wine or flowers, pick up breakfast goodies for your host to enjoy the morning after. It’s selfless (unless you’re spending the night) and thoughtful. Our go-to spots for stellar baked goods include Americano 2211 (2211 W. North Ave. 773-360-8757) with rosemary-sea salt biscuits and cocoa-creme fraiche coffee cake, Hendrickx Belgian Bread Crafter (100 E. Walton St. 312-649-6717) with fresh AF croissants and Floriole (1220 W. Webster Ave. 773-883-1313) with gorgeous, knock-their-socks-off pastries.