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Easy win for Bears? No, but Raiders game calls for Eazy-E rhyme

Growing up in the ’80s, I don’t remember there being much of a Raiders heyday, but I do remember the first time I saw Dr. Dre, Ice Cube and Eazy-E.

They looked way too fresh decked out in Raiders gear. Everyone I knew wanted a Raiders Starter cap. Nobody wanted that Jheri curl, though.

So with the success of the “Straight Outta Compton” movie, I couldn’t help but channel my inner Ice Cube. While listening to and drawing inspiration from Eazy-E’s “Boyz-N-the-Hood,” I wrote this rhyme about what’s it like to be a Bears fan these days.

Woke up quick, at about nine,

Just felt I had to get to the lake in time.

I gotta get the trash out ‘fore the day begins,

Before my wife starts tripping ’bout the game again.

Jumped online and almost went blind.

It said Raiders minus-1 was the line.

Ran back to the closet and put on my 6 (Cutler jersey),

With the Bears fitted on top of it.

Got to the lake and the fans were reppin’,

Just as I thought, the grills were preppin’.

Rolled slow through the lot, trying to park the ride,

Pulled in to a spot with RVs on both sides.

Then they let the Bose system play,

Pumpin’ ol’ school NWA.

It was Eazy-E at the top of list,

Then I played my own, it went something like this:

Cruisin’ by the lake in the back seat of an Uber,

I’m not paying for parking, not trying to get towed,

Going to Soldier Field to see the game.

Knuckleheads getting beat at home again,

Another TD, who can it be?

Kyle Fuller gettin’ beat, we need another CB.

Derek Carr and Amari Cooper would like to say

It’s all about makin’ that one big play.

Chorus:

‘Cuz being a Bears fan is always hard.

Keep watching the team, they’ll pull ya card.

Knowing nothing else but to sit through it,

Don’t quote me, boy, ‘cuz I ain’t said nothing yet.

The Raiders are a young, up-and-coming team, with talent on both sides of the ball. They’re led by linebacker Khalil Mack, second-year quarterback Derek Carr and rookie receiver Amari Cooper. They come to Soldier Field with a two-game winning streak, looking to take advantage of a Bears team short on talent.

With Jay Cutler and Alshon Jeffery banged up, the Bears will struggle to score. Look for the Raiders defense to focus on stopping Matt Forte and forcing backup QB Jimmy Clausen to try and win the game with his arm, which probably won’t happen, but with another full week as the starter he should be more comfortable running the offense.

The Bears managed to get pressure on the quarterback last week at Seattle, recording four sacks. Hopefully that becomes more of a trend in the coming weeks because the Bears are definitely in need of some attitude.

Joseph Tanksley is a RedEye contributor and former defensive back at Butler University. @debaucheryteam

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