One of the benefits of having D-list celebrity is that you can abuse your powers to try to find Springsteen tickets. So, ergo, does anyone have Springsteen tickets for Wrigley this Friday?
Seriously. I managed to get a pair for Saturday, but I can't in good conscience just allow Bruce Springsteen to play a show up the road from me and not make every attempt to attend. Oh, and I will totally stand outside and sing along and jump around and act like every bit the goofball a Bruce Springsteen concert makes me, but I'd much rather get inside.
So who has an extra ticket? I'll buy it off you, but wouldn't you much rather be able to say you took D-list Chicago celebrity, acclaimed author and columnist Stephen Markley to a Springsteen concert and it was pretty weird and he got drunk and tried to kiss your girlfriend during "Badlands"? How good a story would that be!
No, but for real. I'll buy the beers. I'll even throw in a hot dog. Someone out there in Chicago has to have an extra ticket. I'm serious. E-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Tell me where to meet you. I'll put you in a column. You'll be famous: D-minus-list celebrity.
Get at me. Please.