We’ve seen it before: Movies based on games. There was “Clue” and “Battleship.” And now there’s “Angry Birds.” And let’s not forget Hollywood’s persistence on making Tetris happen not just as a movie, but as a trilogy. Look, obviously Hollywood is running out of ideas, so they’re grasping at anything they can get their hands on. But look, we’re here to help. Here’s a list of seven games that we think Hollywood could benefit from making into movies.
Candy Crush
In all seriousness, this is probably going to be a movie Hollywood makes. This game is ripe for the Hollywood treatment. It actually has character names: The player solves the “Candy Crush levels so “Tiffi” can solve problems that plague Candy Kingdom. That sounds boring, though. PLOT TWIST: “Candy Crush” will be a spinoff of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” and its leading lady will be that blue one. (Charlie is dead because Violet ate him.)
Two Dots
A sequel to Pixar’s “Inside Out,” “Two Dots” will follow Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust as they try to make real connections with other feelings in the world. Awwwwww. Plus, everything is better when there’s four of the same to make a square. Side note: Feelings are the worst.
Jenga
Get ready for the “Big One.” Set in futuristic California, all the buildings are made of movable wood blocks and then boom, the big one happens and all of the building blocks start to shift. This is not going to be a very good movie, but people will see it because nostalgia is a real thing.
Guess Who?
This is not to be confused with the boring as [bleep] Ashton Kutcher movie with Bernie Mac and Zoe Saldana. No, this movie is based on the game we all loved growing up. Forty-eight people are locked in a room, and two are serial killers, but you don’t know who. Spoiler alert: It’s probably not the Jigsaw guy from “Saw.” But that’s hard to say. The script obviously has not been written yet.
The Game of Life
Ever want to live your best life in just a quick 90 minutes? This movie follows a group of people who all want better lives. In order to get that, they make a deal with the devil: Play The Game of Life and get to live that life, no matter how [bleep]y. This is actually a very sad, depressing drama. But also a thriller. Hopefully no one loses their job or has kids. Errrr … or whatever.
Mahjong
A handful of the oldest Hollywood actors sit around a table and just yell at one another. Snoop Dogg guest-stars just because he looks old and is probably secretly an elite Mahjong player.
Cards Against Humanity
Look, let’s not get carried away with the plot here. It’s this simple: Zac Efron comes home for vacation and forces his family, including his grandparents, to play Cards Against Humanity. Spoiler alert: His grandma will definitely get the nipple blades card, and she will definitely win the game.
Hey, we didn’t say these were good ideas…
Sara Amato is a RedEye designer and avid Cards Against Humanity gamer.
