Okay, Off the Markley readers, let me apologize for my spotty blogging of the last week. Like I've been saying for a few weeks now, I'm going to Iceland. And now I'm in Iceland. Whoa. So here's the deal: rather than dragging my laptop across glaciers and shit, I'm out here with just an iPad. And not even an iPad 2--we're talking an iPad 1, which is like having a Remington Typewriter or Gutenberg printing press. I'm not even sure I know how to use my iPad for anything other than checking NBA Playoff scores and watching Netflix.

All this to say, the frequency of my posts for the next two weeks will be subject to 1) how well I can figure out the Trib's P2P on this thing, since it looks kind of weird and for some reason the toolbar has vanished and I don't know how to link to anyting and 2) hostel Internet access, and 3) the likelihood that me and my friends Bojo and Trinetti will meet a gaggle of Icelandic princesses who want us to hang out on their North Sea luxury yachtland (that's an island made out of a yacht).

This trip has already been too epic to even write about in a blog post, because before I hopped on Icelandair at JFK, I spent the weekend in New York where I had the most bizarre, hilarious celebrity encounter of my life to this date. I don't even want to tell you about it here, it's so good. I'm literally going to hold that story for ransome until someone publishes it in a book. Following the story I refuse to tell you because it's so good, however, I got into Iceland last night/this morning/not sure.

So all I can really tell you is that I couldn't sleep, there was some Eurotrash douche bag sleeping in my bed in my 10-bed hostel room, and now I'm writing this while looking out over a bay cupped in the palm of low snow-capped mountains with spikes of golden morning light cutting through the slate-gray clouds overhead--otherwise known as an image I can't share with you because I don't know how to upload pictures from my camera to this iPad (I believe there's some cordage I'm missing).

What I'm saying, guys, is I'll do my best, I really will, but I suggest keeping an eye on this page, Facebook, Twitter, and possibly Icelandic social gossip columns in case those princesses pan out.