You play golf with Bo Jackson, you want a story to tell.
I was not lucky enough to witness his home runs in four consecutive at-bats. Or the time he turned linebacker Brian Bosworth into silly putty. Or when he broke a bat over his helmet.
His fellow members at Rich Harvest Farms in Sugar Grove buzz about his feats, including a shot on Gold No. 9 that won a member-guest tournament. From 246 yards. In the rough. Over a tree. With a 5-wood.
"You're playing with Bo?" Bears kicker Robbie Gould asked. "Dude kills it. 350 yards. You're in for a treat."
He was not lying.
The first hole at the elegant Barrington Hills Country Club was our 10th of the day. The fairways were soaked by a storm that caused a three-hour delay.
Jackson unleashed a drive that sailed beyond the scope of my prescription shades. Then he jumped in the cart and drove to the spot, located his ball mark in the fairway and hollered: "She backed up a foot!"
Jackson's drive traveled 298 yards. He actually flew it 299. If the conditions had been firm and fast, it still might be rolling.
He followed that with a 265-yard bomb that settled 15 yards short of the green. Then he chunked his chip. So, he is human.
"Two shots the length of a mile and I'm here in three," he shouted with disgust.
The morning began with Jackson signing countless autographs as we waited out the rain.
At one point he barked: "Oatmeal and yogurt? Nobody here is running a marathon. We need some meat."
Asked if he ever had played golf with former White Sox teammate Frank Thomas, Jackson replied: "Frank Thomas played with me."
But the grumpiness is really a facade for a charity-minded guy who loves to tease those around him.
After someone mentioned that he was an excellent bunker player, I asked for a tip.
"Squeeze your (butt) cheeks real tight and pray," he replied.
He couldn't tee it up much last summer after complications from follow-up hip surgery. How did he fill the void without golf?
"Thought about golf," he shot back.
Jackson supports his home state with his annual "Bo Bikes Bama," a charity bike ride (of 20 and 60 miles) that aids tornado victims via Alabama's Emergency Relief Fund.
And he helps at-risk youth in Chicago — he has resided in the southwest suburbs since signing with the Sox in 1991 — with what he calls the "No. 1 golf outing" in the area. The event at Bolingbrook Golf Club has featured celebs such as Ken Griffey Jr. and raises an average of $100,000 a year for his Give Me A Chance Foundation.