I don't profess to know it all, but I do have some advice that will save you a lot of time and embarrassment. Here are the 25 things you need to know about drinking after you turn 25.
2. Hangovers ain't nothing to [bleep] with. Remember those days of pulling a late drinking session, sleeping a few hours, then getting up and being productive? GONE. No kidding, I recently had a hangover that lasted two and a half days. That's almost an entire work week lost.
3. If you're the couple that gets drunk and fights, break up. At a certain point, people will just stop inviting you places.
4. No one cares if you smoke "only" when you're drinking.
5. Like your degree and SAT score, your college drinking achievements no longer matter and should never be brought up in conversation.
6. You don't have to do that bomb shot.
7. You shouldn't be hanging out with anyone whose go-to drink is a bomb shot.
8. Don't bring your drink onto the dance floor. Sure, you can handle yourself, but what about that jerk who knocks the glass out of your hand? Now the party is bummed AND you don't have a drink.
9. Keep sparkling wine in the fridge. There is no greater joy than a mimosa you didn't have to put clothes on to drink.
10. All those magazines have you convinced that a quality wine knowledge is the mark of a civilized modern urbanite, but you know what? Screw them. Drink whatever you want and don't pay out the butt when you drink it.
11. Buy good beer. You spend like $50 on dinner now, so stop drinking like a sophomore. (Note: This rule goes out the window during St. Pat's day weekend.)
12. Procure the spirits and tools for a serviceable home bar. A serviceable home bar should include at least the following:
>>A cocktail mixer
>>Either lime juice or lemon juice