Holiday fare gets updated treatment

Nothing brightens the winter holidays like music.

So with apologies to the original writers of these tunes, and to everyone whose sensibilities may be offended, I've adapted a few seasonal songs for our place and time. Please sing along.

White Christmas

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like Chicago used to know
When the streets were icy
And walks were dicey
And dog poop lay beneath the snow.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Like on the Christmas cards I write
But our days are balmy and bright
And there's not a flake of snow in sight.

 

Let it Snow

Oh the weather outside is frightful
Cause the days are too delightful
We prefer it at 6 below
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

No, it doesn't show signs of chillin'
So we're beggin' old Tom Skillin'
Make the blizzardy winter blow!
Let it snow, let it snow, let snow.

 

O Come O Come, Emanuel

O come O come, O Rahm Emanuel
And save Chicago from financial hell
We fear our Windy City will go bust
But what's up with your infrastructure trust?

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Yes, Rahm, you are the man!
But must you be
So snooty 'bout your plans?

O come O come, O Rahm Emanuel
Must all our assets just be stuff to sell?
We know that you are king up on Five
But please don't tell the people "Hey, just drive"?

Rejoice, etc.

 

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

There's Mel Reynolds and Adam (that's Blago's defender)
Hutchinson, Harris, so many pretenders
But do you recall?
The most famous dreamer of all?

Donne "The Cowboy" Trotter
Had a very shiny gun
Now says the po-lice blotter,
Donne's in a heap of dung.

Since all of Donne's rivals
Heard of how he packed his heat
All of poor Donne's rivals
Think they'll win poor Jesse's seat.

CHICAGO

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