The heat, the heat, it has a beat

The heat is back!

The heat! The heat!

Amazing heat!

So I repeat:

The heat is back!

Like dragon's breath

Oh, will we all

Be scorched to death?

This furnace blast

We call a breeze

Is so darn hot

It makes you wheeze.

The lake is like

A tepid stew

And sweat rolls down

Your icy brew.

Your butt is sticking

To the chair

And let's not even

Mention hair.

The heat is back!

Can we survive?

A heat index

of one-oh-five?

Yes, yes, I know

There's bigger news

To give our heated

Hearts the blues.

Yes, we could talk

Of pension plans

Of cheats and frauds

And Madi-gans

Or whether we might

Love or hate

A new Boss Daley

In this state.

Or ads on Wrigley's

Ancient clock

(Now that idea

is such a crock.)

We could discuss

the RTA

And business the

Chicago Way.

I know we could

But let us not

For, people, it

Is just too hot.

A sidewalk here

Could fry a peach

It's hotter here

Than in Palm Beach.

(Check the Palm Beach weather if you don't believe me.)

The heat is back

The garden droops

And just the brave

Sit out on stoops.

The soggy sheets!

The wilting trees!

The sweat that pools

Behind your knees!

From house to house

The AC roars

So noisy that

It shakes the doors.

Folks lock themselves

In icy rooms

As dim and cold

As clammy tombs.

Too hot to work

Out in their yards

They hide indoors

With "House of Cards."

(A first-rate time-waster, by the way.)

This heat, this heat

Can warp the brain

And even sunny

Folks complain.

They're so dang hot

They cannot eat

They cannot Facebook

Text or tweet.

They're so dang hot

They need a nap

They just can't stand

This humid (expletive).

But now for an alternative view ...

The heat is back

Like every year

And every year

We quake in fear.

As if the heat

Will make us die

When, really, folks,

It's just July.

July, when days

Are long with light

And evenings melt

To gentle night.

July, when summer's

Sticky sweet —

And we forget

We'll miss this heat.