No happy tears in this political drama

Last Tuesday, in Walton, the polling places were jammed. The election created long lines even before the polls opened at 6 a.m.

"Everybody I've talked to had to wait in line, and some of the lines were quite long, so you have to admire someone who is trying to juggle it all. I think a lot of people are coming to her defense," Mayor Jolley said.

"I can't imagine what she's feeling."

Of course, you can imagine it, Mayor Jolley. Everybody in town is whispering that she cost her husband the election.

In a perfect world, the Boone County clerk's office would order a new election. That way, Katie could hold a news conference and stand before her community to explain it all, and ask for another chance.

It would be one heck of an emotional news conference.

And in a truly perfect political world, Bobby would run up onto the stage, shouting, "I love you, Katie! Honey, it's all my fault. I told you that you didn't have to go vote."

Katie: "I love you, Bobby!"

Bobby: "Oh, baby, I love you, too!"

They embrace. The reporters weep happy tears. The politicians weep happy tears. The editorial writers weep happy tears. And the opponent also weeps tears, but not so happy. Why?

Because Bobby McDonald would win in a landslide.

Unfortunately, real life didn't accommodate this scenario. Kenny Brown, the Boone County clerk, told us there won't be a do-over.

He said each candidate has until Tuesday afternoon to demand a recanvass of the results from the voting machines.

"If that doesn't happen on Tuesday, we'll immediately start calling the candidates and ask them what's a good day that they can come in and we do the coin toss."

Brown said in Texas, they roll the dice. But in Kentucky, it's a dramatic and terrible toss of a coin. The tension will be ridiculous.

And all I hope is that no dogs get hurt. I just couldn't take it.

jskass@tribune.com

twitter @John_Kass

CHICAGO

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