Let's split the Little Bike People into two distinct groups — the Good Little Bike People who follow the law and wear yellow shirts and spandex, and the Bad Little Bike People, including stoners, who ride on the sidewalk, roll through red lights and talk on their cellphones (which will be illegal under the new law).
They're also the ones who weave in and out of traffic during rush hour and flip you off or threaten you, and sometimes they run down pedestrians at crossings since they don't stop at the light.
But how can the Bad Little Bike People be given tickets?
There aren't enough police now to patrol the streets to fight serious crime. They're trying to enforce other laws, like the one that prohibits murder.
Going after bicyclists seems like a waste of police manpower.
So what will happen? City Hall will need revenue to enforce bike traffic laws. These are not enforced now, but eventually, City Hall will need people to write tickets and seize bikes.
Emanuel can't hire cops for this purpose. So I predict he'll hire Civilian Little Bike People Traffic Enforcers.
And how will City Hall pay their salaries?
You'll see the answer when you fix the city-approved Rahmsponder to your handlebars, and drive between the giant plastic legs of those Rahmfather Bike Toll figures that will stand astride select streets. His eyes will light up as you pedal past. Ka-ching.
And this time, don't say I didn't warn you.