Kass: A Valentine's Day gift fit for a Khaleesi

"I stopped over at my father-in-law's house and he had 'Game of Thrones' on and he said, 'You ever watch this? It's pretty good,'" said a guy at work. "So I sat down and the Dothraki were going at it, you know, doing it in the yurt. And then a yurt exploded and I think a horse died. It was rather awkward. But it was good."

The fictional Dothraki themselves aren't particularly romantic, what with all their riding and dueling and never bathing and putting whole cities of "sheep people" to the sword and so on. But they do have their tender side. And the saga of the star-crossed lovers, the brooding Khal and his lovely Khaleesi, was quite touching.

Sadly, most people I spoke with, even crazed "Game of Throne" fans, said I look nothing like the gigantic, muscled, braided and oiled barbarian tribal king. They also said it was stupid to think a modern American woman would speak Dothraki. I hope with every fiber of my being that they are wrong.

"Dothraki is romantic when the big horseman was saying it," said a colleague, referring to Jason Momoa, who is about 6-foot-6 inches with a 12-pack and portrayed Khal Drogo. "But you?"

Tribune cartoonist Scott Stantis consoled me.

"OK, so you don't have a braid and a 12-pack stomach," Stantis said. "But you have a kegger. And kegs are better than a 12-pack, right?"

Yer darn tootin'. There's more to love in a kegger.

Happily, a woman who is a big fan of "Game of Thrones" said the naysayers were all wrong. She said the queen was right to learn Dothraki to speak to her Khal, and that if my wife and I wished to speak a fictional language of leather-clad horse nomads in our quiet west suburban village, that was our business.

"I had to learn another language to communicate with my husband when we got married," she said.

Dothraki?

"No," she said. "Hockey. He plays hockey. So I learned to speak hockey."

Happy Valentine's Day.

jskass@tribune.com

Twitter @John_Kass

CHICAGO

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