Mark Bazer is an editor for Tribune Media Services and a freelance writer. He has written for GQ, the Boston Globe, the New York Daily News, the New York Post and other publications, many of which have folded.
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Recent Columns:
August 21, 2008
Thank you for calling Comcast
Thank you for calling Comcast. For quality and training purposes, your call may be monitored or recorded. If you use the "f-word" more than twice, we will send the recording to God.
August 21, 2008
Thank you for calling Comcast
Thank you for calling Comcast. For quality and training purposes, your call may be monitored or recorded. If you use the "f-word" more than twice, we will send the recording to God.
August 7, 2008
Smoggy vision of Summer Games
In a rousing display of global unity as well as solidarity with China, the opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics will commence, sources tell me, with one athlete from every participating country opening a Chinese takeout container filled with smog from his or her homeland. Then, 2,008 doves, in a mass bird protest the likes of which has never been seen, will refuse to be released into the air.
July 24, 2008
A timeless romance—carved into a sidewalk
IRIS I LOVE YOU
July 10, 2008
You don't mess with the Bazer
My father waited 34 years to tell me the news.
June 26, 2008
Going green with paranoia
Writing once about the collective decision of today's younger women to go out in public wearing next to nothing, the great espn.com columnist Bill Simmons memorably referred to "every married guy over 30 kicking themselves that they sowed their oats in the Let's Wear Baggy Sweaters, Eat & Be Scared of AIDS Era."
May 29, 2008
The imperfect match: When Indy met Carrie
Nostalgia is a powerful thing. So are multimillion-dollar ad campaigns. But baby-sitters aren't cheap and household tastes don't always coincide, so it's too bad Hollywood didn't do the honorable thing and release ... "Indiana Jones and the City."
May 15, 2008
Financial advice you just can't trust
According to national polls, more and more Americans are citing personal finances as their No. 1 concern. High gas prices, the U.S. housing slump, fear of recession and other factors all have contributed to Americans' unease. With that in mind, it seemed like a good time for an installment of "Ask the Man Who Doesn't Understand the Economy."
May 1, 2008
My April Chicago weather diary
April 1
April 17, 2008
Spousal review 2008
My wife and I, as mentioned here before, each keep a notebook in which we record all the things the other does that are wrong. We plan to compare notebooks on our deathbeds to determine who was the better person.
August 21, 2008
Thank you for calling Comcast
Thank you for calling Comcast. For quality and training purposes, your call may be monitored or recorded. If you use the "f-word" more than twice, we will send the recording to God.
August 21, 2008
Thank you for calling Comcast
Thank you for calling Comcast. For quality and training purposes, your call may be monitored or recorded. If you use the "f-word" more than twice, we will send the recording to God.
August 7, 2008
Smoggy vision of Summer Games
In a rousing display of global unity as well as solidarity with China, the opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics will commence, sources tell me, with one athlete from every participating country opening a Chinese takeout container filled with smog from his or her homeland. Then, 2,008 doves, in a mass bird protest the likes of which has never been seen, will refuse to be released into the air.
July 24, 2008
A timeless romance—carved into a sidewalk
IRIS I LOVE YOU
July 10, 2008
You don't mess with the Bazer
My father waited 34 years to tell me the news.
June 26, 2008
Going green with paranoia
Writing once about the collective decision of today's younger women to go out in public wearing next to nothing, the great espn.com columnist Bill Simmons memorably referred to "every married guy over 30 kicking themselves that they sowed their oats in the Let's Wear Baggy Sweaters, Eat & Be Scared of AIDS Era."
May 29, 2008
The imperfect match: When Indy met Carrie
Nostalgia is a powerful thing. So are multimillion-dollar ad campaigns. But baby-sitters aren't cheap and household tastes don't always coincide, so it's too bad Hollywood didn't do the honorable thing and release ... "Indiana Jones and the City."
May 15, 2008
Financial advice you just can't trust
According to national polls, more and more Americans are citing personal finances as their No. 1 concern. High gas prices, the U.S. housing slump, fear of recession and other factors all have contributed to Americans' unease. With that in mind, it seemed like a good time for an installment of "Ask the Man Who Doesn't Understand the Economy."
May 1, 2008
My April Chicago weather diary
April 1
April 17, 2008
Spousal review 2008
My wife and I, as mentioned here before, each keep a notebook in which we record all the things the other does that are wrong. We plan to compare notebooks on our deathbeds to determine who was the better person.