Lifespan of a QB

So Rexy ain't so sexy anymore, is he? He's no Michael Phelps, that's for sure. But then again, is Kyle Orton any more attractive? I mean, he looks more like someone who'd hang around a gas station bumming smokes than an NFL passer, or maybe that's just moi. Be that as it may, Orton's our guy now. But I have a hunch it's not going to last. Here are my (tongue-in-cheek) predictions:

Week 1 @ Colts:
He's like the understudy to Grossman's Super Bowl vanishing act. Two interceptions, two fumbles. One big opening loss.

Week 3 vs. Bucs:
After going 0-2, Orton settles down in the home opener. He even throws two touchdowns. Whoa, sport, save some for later.

Week 5 @ Lions:
How do they lose to the Lions? You need offense (even in Detroit).

Week 7 vs. Vikings:
Blow. Out. And not for us. Here comes the calls for—gasp—Rex.

Week 10 @ Packers:
Bears miss on a winnable game because Orton's 2-minute drill can't march the team into field goal range.

Week 12 @ Vikings:
This has the makings of a three-interception game. Let me explain with this formula: Adrian Peterson ball control + Orton hurry-up offense = Disaster.

Week 13 vs. Jaguars:
Grossman's back .. and starting against Jacksonville. Gee, thanks, Lov.

Week 14 vs. Saints:
After Grossman's season-ending injury, Caleb Hanie gets the start.

Week 16 @ Texans:
Hanie goes 3-0 to finish the season. Grossman takes the first thing smokin' out of Chicago. Now the question for 2009: Orton or Hanie?