You watch, the Bulls will beat the Heat tonight and there will be a major run on insanity.
The possibility of the Bulls beating the reigning NBA champion makes me wish the New York Stock Exchange dealt in options on idiot fans. One investment would yield generational wealth.
This would be the kind of win that makes Bulls fans sound like Cubs and Bears fans. Mouthbreathers and meatballs. The start of another three-peat. You’ve no doubt heard it yourself, the crazies projecting a February victory -- February, people -- into a June trophy celebration.
Consider this a pre-emptive plea to stop the stupid.
It’s not that I want the Bulls to lose tonight. Nope, I’m all for them winning every game they can. That’s the object of the exercise.
What I’m asking for is some knowledge. What I hope is that Bulls fans have finally figured out how little the regular season matters, even and especially regular-season wins over the Satanists from South Beach.
Bulls fans are quick to fight the notion that the Bulls don’t need a second superstar to complement Derrick Rose. I’ve gotten bombarded with emails saying exactly that, and never mind that Rose still hasn’t overcome his surgically repaired left knee as that first superstar.
But in the mind of the mouthbreathers and meatballs, Rose will come back like the Rose of old. Some Bulls lunatics make it sound like the second coming of Michael Jordan. And just like that, plan the parade because, if tonight falls right, they can beat the Heat. Even though they can’t, not if LeBron James is healthy, not even close.
I thought we covered this earlier, but one more time: Regular season victories mean nothing in the postseason.
In fact, Bulls fans, nothing proved that better than Your Heroes a couple years ago. Those Bulls smacked around a Heat team so smug that it held a championship celebration before it played an actual minute together. Those Bulls finished with the best record in the NBA, and those Bulls got destroyed in five games once James obliterated Rose in the fourth quarter. Four straight fourth quarters. Beep, beep, drive home safely.
That, remember, was a Bulls team led by the MVP edition of Rose. This season won’t be, if Rose comes back at all this season. Next season might not feature anything close to that version of greatness, as well.
James, meanwhile, is not just getting better, but has become the best player in the league exponentially, and the Bulls know it. James can guard anybody, but nobody can guard him. Ballgame. Playoff ballgame.
Again, there is a major difference between regular-season hustle and postseason greatness. Greatness wins. Everytime I think that Bulls fans know this simple fact, they turn all mouthbreather and meatball on me.
Bulls fans have seen greatness. They know it is the path to championships. Repeated championships. Bulls fans are the only Chicago fans who can say that since, I don’t know, forever. Bulls fans ought to act like it.
Besides Joakim Noah unaccountably playing defense in an All-Star Game, the real news of late is Rose scrimmaging 5-on-5.
I have a question for you: When Rose scrimmages like that, who on the Bulls scout team is James?
Until the Bulls answer that question with a reasonable representation of a second superstar, Bulls fans should stop the stupid.