Mayor swayed by shiny objects, such as badges

"Because no one has taken credit for it. A-heh-heh-heh-heh," Daley cackled. No one else laughed. "And the U.S. attorneys [sic] are looking into it now."

Did you sponsor him?

"No, I didn't. No," he said.

So there you have it. Daley knows, but Daley doesn't know. There are names, but he can't repeat them, because federal authorities asked him not to, since he's Mayor Junior G-Man, a spin that had investigators at the federal building in tears as they rolled on the floor, laughing.

What probably happened is that bored City Hall officials were practicing their signatures, hoping to have them analyzed for quirky multiple personality traits, when they accidentally scribbled on the form that put Torres in charge of the Hired Truck program. Torres then began accepting bribes while rewarding Daley allies, and Bridgeport and Outfit-connected trucking companies, and nobody knew, especially not Time Magazine's Mayor of the Universe.

It's all a coincidence, right mare?

Then another reporter asked if Chicagoans might get the idea that Daley is not in control.

"I'm in control!" he insisted, although we didn't see him twisting his Super Secret Decoder Ring.

Here's how bad it is. The mayor of Chicago has to declare he's in control, thereby demonstrating that he's lost it.

Daley was also asked about Donny Tomczak, his former Water Department boss and Bridgeport political operative who was indicted in the Hired Truck scandal. Tomczak has also been charged with using city workers to muscle pro-Daley candidates into office, at the behest of as-yet unnamed city officials.

Tomczak's underling and bagman, Gerald Wesolowski, has pleaded guilty and is cooperating with the feds. Tomczak may cooperate soon. Political decisions about which candidates to back were made only by the mayor and his political strategists.

So Daley was asked who gave the marching orders to Tomczak to work on pro-Daley campaigns. He pondered a bit.

"Well, I don't know," Mayor Junior G-man said. "I don't know who gave the marching orders to anything."

Mayor Junior G-Man doesn't sound quite ready to testify in federal court and brag about how he cracked the case. But that's not to say he won't be ready to testify some day. We'll wait.