By Curt Wagner
4:44 PM CDT, April 6, 2012
Remember when Jennifer Love Hewitt starred in "Ghost Whisperer" and helped ghosts move on to the other side? Melinda Gordon was a sweet, empathetic medium.
In "The Client List" (9 p.m. April 9, Lifetime; 2 stars out of 4) Love Hewitt is a sweet, empathetic masseuse who closes her sessions with a happy ending. So, more bluntly, she's a hooker with a heart of gold.
OK, more succinctly, she's the John Whisperer.
Hewitt plays Riley Parks, a woman who lands a job as a massage therapist at The Rub spa to help pay the bills because her hubby, Kyle (Brian Hallisay), is out of work. She's a legit therapist until Kyle leaves her, then she decides to offer the "extras" that will get her bigger tips. That's when her clientele changes from wrinkly old folks of both sexes to the hottest, buffest young men on Sunday night TV--most of whom do not look like they'd need her kind of services.
So that's not realistic. We also never learn what kind of extras Riley provides for this sexy clientele. She wears the slinky lingerie one client buys her, but that's about it as far as "sexy time" goes that we see. She's more interested in offering them advice about their marriages, girlfriends or whatever other problems they need to get off their chests.
Yeah, like that's going to happen.
The show jumps between happenings at the spa with Riley's boss, Georgia (Loretta Devine), her co-workers and her clients to Riley's life at home with her kids, her mom (Cybill Shepherd), best friend Lacey (Rebecca Field) and her hunky brother-in-law, (Chicago-area native Colin Egglesfield), who is head-over-heels for Riley. (He takes his shirt off, too; lawn mowing never seemed so appealing.)
None of them know what Riley's up to at the spa, which creates occassional tension and awkward moments. But really, there's not much to see here. Get on "The Client List" only to see some ripped abs; everything else is nonsense.
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