By Curt Wagner, @ShowPatrol
1:56 PM CDT, July 12, 2013
Syfy's "Sharknado" premiered Thursday night, devouring the popularity of the network's previous campy shark flicks such as "Dinoshark," "Sharktopus" and the "Mega Shark Versus ..." duo. (That'd be "Crocosaurus" and "Giant Octopus.")
According to Syfy, the movie became the most social program on TV for the night and Syfy's most social telecast ever. At its peak, "Sharknado" generated nearly 5,000 tweets a minute and had 387,000 social mentions.
It also pulled in 1.369 million viewers for its premiere, Syfy reports. If you missed it, the network plans to show it again at 6 p.m. CT July 18, so set the DVRs.
If you did see it (or don't plan to watch), here are my Top 5 Shark Kills from the movie.
Surf board shark
Steven Sanders, er, I mean Ian Ziering stars as Fin, a surfer, dad and bar owner who never met a shark he wasn't willing to fight. That's proven true at the start of the film, when a shark feeding frenzy leads to his friend Baz (Jaason Simmons) getting attacked while on his jet ski. The shark is chewing on Baz's foot, so obvi he can't hit the gas pedal. (Oh wait, he could have gotten away, the throttle is actually on the handle bar!) Because seeing his pal get eaten would really harsh Fin's mellow, he swims over and beats the shark to death with his surf board.
As if watching John Heard—the dad in the "Home Alone" movies!—play bar regular and drunk George isn't fun enough, we get a bar shark attack. Just as Fin tells George and the other bar patrons to go home and prepare for the coming storm, a giant wave sends a shark into the bar. If this shark is looking for a pool to swim in, he's in the wrong place. As he flaps and snaps his way toward a pretty blond patron, barmaid Nova (Cassie Scerbo) comes to the rescue. There will be no grab ass in this bar, sir. She impales the mouthy monster with a pool cue.
Gas tank shark
After the bar attack, everyone runs onto the pier trying to escape the waves and, most importantly, every species of shark known to man. As chaos rains down upon the tourists and people are being chomped right and left, Fin sees how he can save one man from being gobbled up. Not sure why, but there's a tank of some kind of explosive gas rolling around on the pier. In what is no doubt an homage to "Jaws," Fin shoves the tank in the beastie's mouth and fires his pistol. Boom! The shark's face looks like a lily in full bloom.
Chainsaw shark No. 1
It's raining like tiger sharks and piked dogfish (yes, that's a shark species), and Fin is out of ammo. So what's a guy to do but fire up his chainsaw and split a shark in half as it falls to the ground, threatening his ex (Tara Reid) and their kids? Shark sushi!
Chainsaw shark No. 2
By the end of the movie Fin has become a master with the chainsaw. As he runs back toward his family, he spots what looks to be a Great White falling straight toward his daughter. After only regaining her love and respect during this trying storm, he can't let her get crushed by a shark. Chainsaw in hand, Fin shoves her out of the way and jumps into the shark's mouth.
The shark lands with a thump, but only after swallowing Fin whole. (Talk about no gag reflex.) His family gathers round, crying. But we haven't seen the last of Fin, though. Remember in "Alien" when the creature bursts out of the dude's stomach? Well, the shark's stomach begins to look like that. Fin slowly saws his way out of the shark, plopping on the ground like a bloody newborn.
Fin's not done yet. Oh no! He reaches inside the shark and pulls out Nova, who has been in there ever since she fell out of the helicopter and was swallowed, like Fin, full body by the shark.
All I want to know is when will The Asylum and Syfy team up for a sequel? "Shark Quake?" "Sharkalanche?" What do you think?
Want more? Discuss this article and others on Show Patrol's Facebook page.
Copyright © 2014 Chicago Tribune Company, LLC