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Of course there wasn't a school full of witches just itching to put an end to the axeman in real life—at least not that we know of.
The Witchwarts Class of 1919, led by Mamie Gummer (daughter of Meryl Streep), aren't ready to "jazz it," instead luring Axe into the school where they make a human knife block out of him—then trap him in what will become Delia's room for eternity.
Or at least until Zoe happens on a spirit board and decides to use it to find Madison.
What's up with Zoe, by the way? Witch is getting awfully bossy lately. I guess she's feeling some superiority along with the powers she's sucking out of Fiona.¿¿She's gone from moody, quiet little church mouse to Big Witch on Campus in no time.
And the more ballsy Zoe gets, the less shade Fiona seems to throw. She's getting chemo, which was a tough scene to watch because I like her best with power, strength and attitude.
And again, why can't she cure herself!?
Back at Witchwarts, Zoe tells Queenie and Nan to witch up and help her find Madison by using the spirit board.
Queenie's like, "Who died and made you the Supreme?"
Zoe solidifies their pledge to have each others' backs with shots of absinthe. Girl's been hiding a lot of her true nature.
After a quick spin on the spirit board, Nan and Queenie puss out and decide not to help her. So Zoe goes her own way.
Which reminds me, Misty Day is back! Misty has planted Myrtle under a bunch of swamp mud, but when the crispy critter sticks her arm out Misty tells the ol' witch to be patient.
That's when Frankenboy shows up. He freaks out when Misty tries to give him a bath--flashbacks to his Mama's special attentions and all. He trashes Misty's cabin—thankfully we no clothes on.
(You have to wonder if Evan Peters is feeling very challenged this season, but hopefully he'll get to do more eventually.)
Oh, and then Kyle breaks Stevie!!! Nicks, that is. Maybe that's how the Fleetwood Mac singer will guest on the show—Misty will bring her back to life.
Anyway, Misty doesn't want to bring Madison back, she's too dead and already decaying. But because Zoe has discovered strong nagging powers, Misty finally agrees.
Madison throws up some "death" and a big ol' cockroach and she's good to go.
"I need a cigarette," she says
Blind Delia could probably use one too. Her jean-jacket wearing, cheating jughead of a hubby brings her home and touches her again—bad move. She gets a flash of him having sex with that red head.
Fiona shows him the door and after he leaves Delia says she wanted to sever his arms and throw him out the window. She should have because he's A WITCH HUNTER!
That's right, Marie Laveau hired Hank the professional witch hunter 6 years ago, and is not pleased with his inability to carry out his mission.
Hank argues that he's killed nine descendants of Salem, which explains that redhead he bopped then killed. He spied her at a Witchwarts interview with his wife and then set up their meeting later. Doesn't that also make him a stalker?
Marie is pissed that he hasn't killed everyone at the Academy, Delia and Fiona included. Especially Fiona.
"When I plant a fatass cracker bitch I 'spect her to stay planted," Marie says. Oh Angie, I love you.
She tells him to bring the heads of all the Academy's witches to her. You know Hank's going to mess that up.
Delia will eventually see what Hank's really up—she did say she would discover all his betrayals. Right now though Delia is dealing with the Axeman, who somehow has been released far enough to be able to see her and whack her with his axe.
Wow, Sarah Paulson can caterwaul with the best of them. Her screaming alert the teen witches, who find a spell to set Axe free so he can leave the house.
And he hits on Fiona at a local bar. Will he be the one last great love affair she wants?
Lessons for the week
- Always look at a guy's instrument, especially when he's hauling around a saxophone case.
- Marie Laveau is not the Taliban. But she is mean!
- Swamp water helps to hydrate witches recovering from massive burns.
- Spalding will never rat on Fiona, even when he gets a hot spatula to the face.
- Demon spirits from hottest hell should not be set free.
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