Pour out a bottle of O-negative: After seven sex- and fang-filled seasons, “True Blood” ends Sunday. And while we enjoyed six years of mythical creatures bumping gratuitous nasties, we have to be honest with ourselves: The series wasn’t exactly the pinnacle of acting. Still, the stars are likely to land other gigs after the series finale. Some already have. But what if they don’t? Anna Paquin, Alexander Skarsgård, Ryan Kwanten and other faves must have learned some transferable skills while on set. RedEye has some suggestions for their “True Blood” afterlives.
Nelsan Ellis (Lafayette Reynolds)
Ellis was “True Blood’s” most versatile actor. He was sassy. He was inhabited by spirits. He drank like a fish. And most importantly, through some sort of magic transference, he was able to talk to the dead. If Ellis can’t land another role, he really should consider applying for a job as a police detective medium. Sure, more traditional police officers would think he’s crazy, but the dead don’t lie.
Alexander Skarsgård (Eric Northman)
Skarsgård isn’t really an actor—he probably was cast on “True Blood” because he’s actually a statue. His abs are made of steel; his hair, gold. Let’s just put him where he belongs: in front of Cloud Gate. We’ll get to see him and his reflection at the same time. No career change necessary.
Rutina Wesley (Tara Thornton)
Wesley’s character was an outcast from the get-go. Tara’s mother was an absent alcoholic; she’s black in a mostly-white, prejudiced town; and, despite hating vampires, she was converted into one. Girl had a rough go, and Wesley just needs some alone time. Her next steps? Western cowgirl. She’s got the accent down, her best friends will be cattle and somehow she’ll still be blowing stereotypes to hell.
Ryan Kwanten (Jason Stackhouse)
Kwanten spent most of his on-screen time either shirtless, wooing women (and men) or sexing. Off-screen, he’s already a triathlete and told Men’s Health magazine that he once competed drunk. The man clearly likes a sexy party. So maybe he should move on to a life of porn. He’s got the body, the endurance and the spirit.
Anna Paquin (Sookie Stackhouse) and Stephen Moyer (Bill Compton)
Paquin and Moyer win the award for the most boring, unchanging roles, so let’s leave them to parenting their almost 2-year-old twins. If their complicated on-screen relationship didn’t teach them anything about working together, Paquin can always whistle “Hush Little Baby” through her gap teeth to keep the kids pacified while they figure it out.