Going to commercial, everybody coochie-coochies and it becomes clear that Kenya has been barely covering her coochie-coochie with clothing.
And then. Finally. FINALLY we get Willam.
What did Willam do?
I posited several weeks ago, when the expulsion first happened, that Willam had an unplanned pregnancy.
Which, as it turns out, is not that far from the truth.
He was having sex.
Lots of sex, plenty of sweaty, hot sex with his husband in the hotel room during filming.
"I told my husband I was doing a non-union horror movie in Europe, which I've done before and they suck so don't watch them," Willam starts off. "And he didn't believe it. He was like, 'why do you gotta take all this drag?'"
Long story short, Willam's hubs followed him to the hotel, and they began having a series of conjugal visits. It kind of sounds like the plot to a (good) porno.
After the obligatory plugging of Willam's iTunes singles, we revisit everyone's favorite personality queen, Latrice Muthafuckin Royale.
Latrice has no regrets about sharing details of her incarceration on the show.
"I want people to realize that it's OK to make mistakes. It's OK to fall down. Get up. Look sickening. And make them eat it," Latrice orders.
YES. Will do.
The final three then make their entrance, and Sharon Needles is flawlessly attired as a snake-green dark mistress, Ouija board planchette on her forehead where a crown would be.
It is genius.
Like everything Sharon does.
The other two finalists are wearing decent enough outfits, but they're no Sharon Needles.
Ru finally gets the chance to take Phi Phi O'Hara to task for her bad attitude and cut-throat mentality on the show.
Willam, Chad Michaels, Sharon and Jiggly also get the chance to take a few shots at Phi Phi, who does a bit of defending herself as well.
"Maybe that was my defense mechanism," she says.