The Queens of "RuPaul's Drag Race"

The real (real) actual finale of "Drag Race" aired Monday night. (Logo / May 1, 2012)

Justice was only partially served Monday night in"Drag Race"land, squirrelfriends.

Sure, RuPaul crowned her queen of queens, and that queen was appropriately (spoiler for those who don't understand how recaps work) Sharon Needles, but we were cheated a little bit.

We "Drag Race" fans are a nutty, obsessive bunch so most of us have heard that Ru held off announcing the winner -- even going so far as to film three possible winning scenarios at the reunion -- to avoid a repeat of last season, when news of Raja's win was leaked far in advance.


That must have been annoying for Ru, and maybe some measures needed to be taken.

But with all the subterfuge came a lack of authenticity. We didn't get to see the real moment when Sharon, exhausted after competiting for so many weeks, learned she won the competition. We didn't get to see real tears, relieved tears or happy tears or whatever. We got to see her pretending or imagining what it might be like to win.

I hope Ru saw that, and that next season she finds a middle ground that preserves the mystery while also preserving the moments the audience really wants to see.


But there was much more before Sharon's crowning, and here it goes...

I adored the start to the episode, an homage to the choreographed Miss Universe/Miss America pageant entries. The top three were resplendent in gold (Sharon appeared to be a mug of beer, love her!) with the rest of the cast, sans-Willam, in black.

As the queens walk the runway to re-introductions, the only queen I wish we'd seen more of was The Princess (Chicago!), who is not only cute out of drag but so freaking fierce in it.

After a silly outer-space clip, Ru finally takes the stage in a ruffled red number. Gorge, of course.

There's an audience, cheering like nuts, and we spy Victoria "Pork Chop" Parker, Carmen Carerra, Sonique, Morgan McMichaels (in an oddly casual look), and more from past seasons.

Santino Rice (love him), Michelle Visage (enh) and Billy B (blah) join Ru one last time.

We get to briefly chat with the first four queens eliminated and they're given a shot at the "reading" challenge. Madame LaQueer gets in another in an endless line of digs at Jiggly Caliente's teeth.

Yes, we get it. Her grille is busted. That joke is about as fresh as a Monica Lewinsky blue dress gag.

There's a bit of a wig kerfuffle about Milan, with the criticisms flying about her tossing her wig during emotional high points in the lip sync. It's clearly lame and Milan has no real defense other than that people don't understand her "art." Whatever.

Jiggly goes through the ringer for her lack of sewing abilities and we recap Dida Ritz's heartwarming family breakthrough on the show.

"Like I always say, 'RuPaul's Drag Race,' bringing families together," Ru intones.

Kenya Michaels' time on the reunion is basically restricted to us making fun of her lack of mastery over the English language. Charo comes to translate one of Ru's questions.