Here's the story, as I understand it:
There is a planet with a dark side and a light side (how very Pink Floyd!) and the superhero and villain both live on the dark side. But then the she-ro gets a tanning gun (?) from the library (?) that shoots people with melanin and allows them to live on the light side of the planet.
I'm starting to suspect that Snooki may have had a hand in helping Rujubee with their backstory.
Ru thinks perhaps they could simplify things a bit.
After scaring the living daylights out of both teams, Ru tells all of the contestants that the loser of the competition will be forced to lip-sync against her teammate, and informs them that they also have to come up with a routine for all four of them on the main stage.
As they plan their lip-sync out, Dramatic Shannel of the planet Intensia emerges to boss everyone around and pooh-pooh any choreography suggestions that don't result in her being in the center of the stage throughout the entire performance.
Raven purses those blown-up lips so hard it looks like they're gonna pop and Juju just gets realistic.
"This bitch is crazy," she says.
Shannel is literally sweating she's exuding so much oddity.
It doesn't look good for the final four routine, but there's no more time to rehearse. It's up to the queens to make. It. Work.
Back on the main stage, guest judges Elvira and Wendi McClendon-Covey will join Ru, Michelle Visage and Santino Rice in giving the side-eye to the superhero queens.
Chad's an elegant lady in red who transforms into a fire-licious diva. Her nemesis is Shannel as a dominatrix Catwoman.
Unfortunately, they've kept the "vaginal rejuvenation" backstory but just dropped a curse word here and there.
Rujubee has also kept their bizarre backstory about tanning guns but at least they've tweaked it to be a bit less convoluted.
Juju is a stunning tanned hero in a white bodysuit and long, red wig while Raven transforms from Pucci-print princess into a terrifying plastic surgery victim wrapped in the feathers of 1,000 black crows.
They're clearly the better team, at least from where I'm sitting, so it's shocking when Rujubee are forced to lip sync against one another to Robyn's "Dancing On My Own."
In the opinion of this recapper, Raven and Juju deliver the most moving lip sync in the history of "Drag Race" as they sing together, not at one another.
There are no histronics or over-the-top dancing. No one pulls their wig off or does the splits.
There are genuine tears as the friends realize one of them is heading home.
But then, Momma Ru makes it all better and announces, "F*ck it. We have a top four."
Both will stay for the finale. From the background and apparently from inside my head, Chad shouts "YES!"
See you next week, squirrelfriends, when we crown the Queen of Queens.
Here are some of the best quotes from the episode:
"Nobody's on the top anymore. We're all on the bottom," Chad Michaels.
"Well, she's a top," Jujubee, pointing at Shannel.
"Well look who's here. It's the Harlot Globetrotters," RuPaul.
"I'm giving Kareema Abdula Jabara realness-a," Raven.
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