'Girls' season 2 preview
HBO's most polarizing show of 2012 is back and ready for serious action
Among the Internet hordes, it sometimes seems like only two groups exist: 1) people who love HBO's "Girls," and 2) people who love to bitch about/hate on HBO's "Girls." After a season's worth of recapping our most and least realistic moments from the show's premiere season, it's probably ridiculously obvious that we fall in the first category. As we giddily prepare for the Season 2 premiere at 8 p.m. Sunday, take a step back with us to times long ago (aka 2012) and reacquaint yourself with Season 1's most notorious faces. Warning: Season 1 spoilers obviously abound. email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org
Hannah Horvath (Lena Dunham)
The most self-involved one. Hannah is the leader of the "Girls" pack, who seems genuinely shocked when her parents refuse to continue funding her New York existence. She's got quite a lot to learn about herself.
Season 1 high: Adam Sackler (Adam Driver) becoming her boyfriend in the back of a Bushwick cab. Giant grins all around.
Season 1 low: Oh God, so many. But the only one that really had us peering through her fingers in shame was when she really, really awkwardly hit on her boss.
Season 2 predictions: From what we've gleaned from the trailers, Hannah gets some medium-to-heavy stalking from Adam, makes out with some hot older dudes and runs around in a fluorescent green shirt with no bra. Get it.
Marnie Michaels (Allison Williams)
The Type-A one. With a steady boyfriend, decent apartment, cool job and great hair, Marnie seems like she'd be the most put-together one of the group. This is so not even remotely the case.
Season 1 high: Smashing cake on her own face at Jessa's surprise wedding. This is the most relaxed we saw her all season.
Season 1 low: When we looked back, Marnie really did not have a good season. Breaking up with Charlie Dattolo (Christopher Abbott) mid-reconciliation sex may be the worst of it.
Season 2 predictions: While her friends are on top of the world as far as dudes are concerned, Marnie finds herself sitting not-so-pretty--except for a hookup with that guy from Lonely Island.
Jessa Johansson (Jemima Kirke)
The most, um, adventurous (and British) of the group, Jessa stormed into New York City out of the blue and rode quite the emotional roller coaster in Season 1: missed her appointment for an abortion she didn't need, lost her job as a nanny when she rebuffed her employer's advances, and married a man a few weeks after he lost his mind when she refused a 3-way with him.
Season 1 high: Sex with her ex-boyfriend while hanging out of a window and then rebuffing his post-coital kisses to prove she was "unsmotable." The guy's bowler hat is infuriating, but never mind that.
Season 1 low: Marrying that d-bag Thomas John who called her "Mary Poppins." You'll agree when you get about halfway through Season 2, we promise.
Season 2 predictions: In an effort to become more domestic, Jessa adopts (and then loses) three miniature-something dogs.
Shoshanna Shapiro (Zosia Mamet)
Slightly younger than her cousin Jessa and the other girls, Shosh is also slightly (um, a lot) less experienced in life. Sometimes it's in a really adorable way, and sometimes it's in a really "OMG, really??" way.
Season 1 high: A tie between finally losing her virginity and her quite literal high when she accidentally smoked crack thinking it was marijuana and proceeded to beat the [bleep] out of Ray Ploshansky (Alex Karpovsky) before massaging him in a "nonsexual way."
Season 1 low: Unwittingly wearing white to Jessa's surprise wedding, a crushing faux pas in Shoshanna's eyes.
Season 2 predictions: Shoshanna feels serious regret in the aftermath of her deflowering and resorts to witchcraft to ensure Ray is forever cursed.
Adam Sackler (Adam Driver)
The weirdest dude on the block. Adam manages to go from Hannah's unlikeable hookup to completely sympathetic in the span of about two episodes. It really, really pained us to join Team Adam, but we're there.
Season 1 high: Watching home movies in bed with Hannah. Not the creepy stuff he talked about while doing so, but the actual act of watching.
Season 1 low: Being hit by a car after breaking up with Hannah. Being physically run over after being emotionally crushed definitely constitutes the worst night ever.
Season 2 predictions: Sadly stalking Hannah, and thinking about buying a shirt. But not actually doing it.
Charlie Dattolo (Christopher Abbott)
Charlie wins the prize for Saddest Puppy Dog Dude/Most Abused of the cast, as Marnie's exasperatingly sweet long-term boyfriend who breaks up with her when he realizes--via Hannah's diary--just how much he annoys Marnie.
Season 1 high: Introducing his now-ex-girlfriend Marnie to his new girlfriend, Audrey, after his band's show at a big party in Bushwick. It seemed like such a huge victory for all of us who couldn't believe Charlie would accept all of the crap Marnie threw at him.
Season 1 low: Propositioning Marnie for post-breakup bathroom sex at Jessa's wedding, then claiming to be joking. We get it, man. You weren't joking at all. You were actually incredibly sad.
Season 2 predictions: Still sad. With more facial hair, though.
Ray Ploshansky (Alex Karpovsky)
At the start, he's kind of a weird fringe character, but Charlie's bandmate and Shoshanna's eventual love interest was indispensable by season's end.
Season 1 high: Doing the "slim leg" hand at Hannah while giving her fashion advice
Season 1 low: Getting kneed in the junk by Shoshanna after chasing her through the streets while she's high on crack
Season 2 predictions: A lot more getting it on with Shosh. This time, she probably won't be massaging his groin in a non-sexual way.
Elijah Kranz (Andrew Rannells)
He only appeared in a few episodes of the first season, but Hannah's now-gay ex-boyfriend from college is by far one of our favorite characters, who (thankfully) gets way more screen time in Season 2 when he moves in with Hannah and gives the apartment a much-needed makeover.
Season 1 high: "It was nice to see you. Your dad is gay." One of the best last-word lines we've ever heard, this one was dropped by Elijah after a conversation with Hannah that she intended to be about her recently discovered HPV, and that he intended to be about his newly accepted homosexuality.
Season 1 low: Slapping Marnie after a particularly thrilling conversation-slash-fight, in which she insisted his voice sounds like "a bag of dying babies." (Go back and re-watch this exchange after you see the Season 2 premiere. Mind-blowing.)
Season 2 predictions: Elijah and Hannah fight, like, constantly.
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